December 29, 2013

The Horror Hotties of 2013

The women who star in the movies that we love so much tend to go unappreciated. Sure, creepy pervs like us sing their praises (because most times, having a penis is no picnic), but by and large their efforts seem to go unappreciated, or at least, sadly under-appreciated.

They suffer both for their art, and our enjoyment. They spend weeks at a time getting thrown around and being brutalized, being covered in sticky fake blood, and being terrorized, all for our entertainment. Some of them do all of this, AND get naked.The ones that get naked are the best ones, btw.

Which ladies made the biggest impact in Horror flicks in 2013? Which ones were the hottest? Which ones got naked and made us do terrible, wonderful things with a sock? Well let's take a look, shall we?

For reference sake, here are our Horror Hotties lists from years past:
The Horror Hotties of 2012- Part 1 & Part 2.
The Horror Hotties of 2011- Part 1 & Part 2.

You're Next may have left us feeling a bit underwhelmed, but there's nothing underwhelming about its star, Sharni Vinson. She kicked all sorts of ass in that movie, becoming one of the toughest (and coolest) Final Girls that we've seen in quite some time. She also looked really good while kicking all of that ass, so of course, that's nothing but a bonus for us.

Our Review of You're Next.

Danielle Harris
Is there a harder working girl in the Horror business than Danielle Harris? It seemed like she had about 10 movies that came out this year, even though some of them were years old and were just now seeing a proper release. Most of them were pretty solid efforts, though her 2013 highlight was definitely Hatchet III, where she went toe-to-toe with Victor Crowley. She's like a sexy little leather-clad Smurf with an attitude, who isn't afraid to get bloody and kick some ass, and we just can't help but love her for it.

Our Reviews of Hatchet III and Hallow's Eve.
Danielle's Horror Hottie posts Here, Here, and Here.

Lauren Cohan
She's sweet & sassy, she's on one of the coolest TV Shows ever, she's ridiculously sexy, and she's got a British accent to boot... what's not to love about this girl? She absolutely captured our hearts when she couldn't stop crying about Scott Wilson's departure from TWD, during an episode of The Talking Dead. She's the total package, and we can't wait to see her branch out into some genre movies, and that is going to happen.

Our Review (snippet) of The Walking Dead.

Alexandra Daddario
Still our fave, and she's still the hottest thing on the planet. Sure, the word "hottest" is subjective, and personal taste, and blah, blah, blah... Look, if you don't find this girl crazy hot, you're just mentally ill. Whatever she shows up in, we will gladly watch, and most likely enjoy; yes, we even mean that Texas Chainsaw remake that was in 3D. She's just so hot that she elevates the material, folks. Only two weeks to go until we get to see her do her thing in HBO's True Detective; a Serial Killer being hunted by Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson, plus Alex Daddario... possibly naked. Yes, we are intrigued.

Our Review of Texas Chainsaw 3D.
Alex's Horror Hottie posts Here, Here, and Here.

Jane Levy
This poor girl right here was miserable while shooting the Evil Dead remake; it gave her nightmares, made her feel disgusting, and left her emotionally and physically exhausted. I mean, the girl got raped by a tree, so that's all perfectly understandable. We're thankful that she endured all of that abuse for the sake of making Evil Dead, because the movie turned out to be pretty good (way better than we had ever expected it to be), and it allowed us to see the sweet girl we knew from TV getting about as down and dirty as one can get. Aside from porn. Hopefully, that's next for her.

Our Review of Evil Dead.

The Farmiga Sisters
Vera or Taissa? That's the question that plagues us all, isn't it? Vera is older, wiser, and we've seen her naked. Mini-Farmiga is young, curious, and bound to get naked sooner than later. So which one is the hotter Hottie? We'll just go ahead and say both, because why bicker, when there's clearly no definitive answer to be had? Both are hot, both are talented, and both of them have a fondness for genre projects, so we win no matter what.

Our Review of The Conjuring.
Vera's Horror Hottie posts, Here and Here.
Mini's snippet in our AHS Horror Hottie post.

Ana de Armas
We've seen very few women in our lifetime that are as genuinely striking as is Ana de Armas. It's a shame that we've only seen her in one movie to date, 2013's Blind Alley, but she left quite an impression on us from just that one experience. Sure, that impression is one that involves us wanting to see her naked, but hey, we're only human. Blind Alley was a pretty solid flick, and Ana de Armas was pretty solid in it... and for the love of God, the girl is absolutely captivating to look at. I mean, we stared. At times, we rewound the movie. We hope that she'll be getting some more genre roles in the near future, but if not, we'll always have Blind Alley. And Google. *There are a lot of crazy pictures of her on Google.

Our Review of Blind Alley.
Ana's Horror Hottie Post.

Nora Arnezeder
Is it wrong that watching her die in Maniac gave us a boner? I don't know. Who am I to judge? Nora Arnezeder is an Austrian/Egyptian Jew who was born in Paris, so right off the bat we're captivated in about 10 different ways by her. Not only is she crazy hot, but she's a talented actress who can dance and sing as well. The girl had one of her songs nominated for an Oscar back in 2010... is there nothing that she can't do? All of that info just goes to show how cool she is; a girl that talented doesn't need to show up in a nasty flick like Maniac. She did that because she wanted to. Because she's cool. And Hot.

Our Review of Maniac.

Najarra Townsend
This girl is one big role away from making a splash in Hollywood, mark our words. There's just something special about her, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she's gorgeous. Well, maybe a little bit, but not completely. Her turn in 2013's Contracted was a truly nasty one, and though the movie didn't thrill us in the way that we thought it would, Najarra Townsend was absolutely thrilling the entire time. We need more Horror flicks with her in them, and if she just so happens to get naked in some of those flicks, then so be it. We'll come to grips with it somehow.

Our Review of Contracted.

Abigail Breslin
Aww, Little Miss Sunshine is a Horror Hottie? Sure she is, just not exactly our typical Hottie. she's already got Zombieland, Haunter, The Call, and Ender's Game under her belt, so she's no stranger to genre work. Add to that the fact that her next four projects -Wicked Blood, Perfect Sisters, Final Girl, and Maggie- are all Horror flicks, and she's about to rival Danielle Harris for busiest actress in the genre. She's certainly put in the effort this year, so we had to show her some love.

Our Reviews of Haunter and The Call.

So there you have it; 10 of the Hottest Hotties that made 2013 a better year for the Horror Genre. It goes without saying that there were plenty of other ladies that lit up our screens with their talents this year as well, but we just spent the entire month of October talking about a ton of them, so 10 is all you get this time around.

We love you all, girls. Keep your chins up.

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