January 16, 2013

2013's first Horror Hottie is...

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It's only fair that the chick who stars in the first horror movie of 2013 get the first Horror Hottie of the Month honor of 2013, especially since she's ridiculously, freakishly good looking.

We like all kinds of girls around here at THC; tall or short, skinny or curvy, young or old, brunette, blond or redhead... we appreciate all levels of Scream Queen. We (I) especially like the dark haired, pillow-chested girls, mainly because Jennifer Connelly set the mold for epic hotness many, many years ago. For me, anyhow, JC is probably the all-time #1 Hottie of ever.

With that being said, our final Millennium Hottie is Alexandra Daddario; the girl who is every bit as hot as was Jennifer Connelly in her youthful prime. I know that's a pretty bold statement, but Alex D is a boldy gorgeous work of art.

It's pretty stylish now for everyone to be jumping on the Alex D bandwagon, but we've been down with her since day one, folks... so she's ours!

Those frigging eyes...
Just look at that face. You know what, just forget about how that face is capable of making mortal men dream of a better world in which they can accomplish anything. Forget those lips billowy lips, too, even though they look as if they steal souls with their soft kisses, and probably taste like cotton candy...

Just look at those eyes.

Those eyes are like big, blue pools of innocence with an underlying current of "come and make sex with me" running through them. I'm just saying that she's probably a total sweetheart who has a pink gimp mask and a whip somewhere, and won't hesitate to beat your ass into submission with it. We support that. We are not here to judge. It's a best of both worlds kinda thing.

We first noticed Alex D in a series of Yellowbook ads that she did. Sure, we noticed her in commercials because she was hot, but what really caught our interest was what she searched for after being dumped by some guy who obviously went gay. Check it out:

Chainsaw. We are not making this up. She always knew where she was heading.
For most Horror fans though, her career started with a spectacular bath scene, in a very unspectacular movie. The Attic opened with a scene of Alex D taking a well deserved bath, because she was obviously dirty and stressed out. And dirty. Then I think she dies, but I can't remember. Who cares about the plot, because that movie was all about the bath scene, and the almost naked girl who captured the hearts and minds of all 342 people who saw it.


Alexandra Daddario in The Attic (2008)

From there she did a bunch of TV roles, played a High School Hooker in The Babysitters, and starred as a Demi-Goddess (more foreshadowing) in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. She was born to be mainstream, so we can't be mad about her non-genre projects.

Then came one of the best performances by a female with an ungodly rack wearing a tank-top, ever. Bereavement was a great flick made even better by the fact that Alex D was all sorts of chesty and hot in it. At one point in the movie, she gets locked in a freezer, and we were wondering why she just didn't cut her way out of there with her nipples... because those bad boys were seriously up and at 'em.

How do genetics like this even exist?
After another Jailbait turn in Hall Pass, roles in TV's White Collar and Parenthood, and a guest shot that actually made us tolerate an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, she returned to the genre fold as a sweaty, midriff-baring Sawyer chick in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D (which was obviously foreshadowed in that aforementioned Yellowbook commercial.)

Sweaty hotnees.
TCM 3D was a decent enough flick (though it had its issues), and it once again proved that Alex D can elevate a flick by here mere presence alone. The whole "almost showing her boobs" thing was bullshit though, because, don't be such a prude. We'll let that one go for now, but after the teasing bath scenes, all of the skimpy tank-top wearing, and the open shirt with no bra stunt... the teasing phase of your career is over now, Alexandra, so make with the boobs already. We promise we'll respect you in the morning.

Hell, we respect you now. 

She's a star on the rise and a Horror Hottie for the ages. She's a film geek with a body built for sin, and eyes that will suck your soul from your body and leave you broken! We hope to see more genre work from her in the future, but until that day, we'll just go see Percy Jackson 2, I suppose.

*In a shocking development,  one of the hottest brunettes of all time has apparently gone blond... It works for us, but it's a big change. We need time.

We leave you with this crazy music video, because it's really kinda creepy, and proves that Alexandra Daddario is a twisted little minx at heart. Also, it's a cool song, and Lou Diamond Phillips rules.


We know that beauty is a totally subjective thing, but for our money, there's just no one hotter on the planet right now. We like 'em pale and curvy, what can we say?


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