January 3, 2013

2013 Horror/Genre Movie Preview: January - March

2012 is a part of our past now (we don't mind, really we don't), and so we look ahead to what will hopefully be a better year all around, especially on the Entertainment front.

Horror fans have a lot to look forward to in 2013. We can't (for the most part) say what will be good and what will suck, but we can keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Our look ahead at what 2013 has to offer us is comprised of both movies we're dying to see, and some of the highest profile releases of the year, neither of which are necessarily one in the same.

We're breaking our 2013 preview into 4 parts, one for each quarter of the year, so let's take a look at quarter 1, which covers releases from January through March.

January 4th- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D- Despite this one being another TCM reboot/remake/prequel/sequel or whatever, we're kinda geeked to see it. It's Leatherface; you either want to see him on screen whenever the opportunity presents itself, or you don't. Most horror fans do. The trailer looks good, and anytime we can see Alexandra Daddario all sweaty and fighting for her life, we're there. She's really that hot. Like, top 10 all-time hot. Here's to hoping that this one kicks off 2013 with a much needed quality effort.

January 11th- A Haunted House- Here's one good thing we'll say about this movie; as painfully un-funny as it looks, it still looks leagues better than Scary Movie 5 does. Compliment? I don't know. Spoof movies aren't very funny to us anymore, mainly because they cater to the mindset of the average 14 year old boy, but you never know... maybe this one will have a few good jokes in there somewhere amidst all of the really not funny ones.We're not counting on it though.

January 18th- Mama- The trailer for this movie looks pretty damned effective. It shows Jamie Lannister and sassy-hot redhead Jessica Chastain taking in two little forest waifs whose "Mama" isn't very happy about it, and who promptly shows up to creep everybody out. We hope it's not one of those movies that looks really good in the trailer and then shits the bed. We have faith. It looks like a creepy good time, and I'm pretty sure it's going to make us scared of forests... and kids. More than we already are.

January 25th- Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters- Movies whose release dates get pushed back 10 months usually don't inspire much confidence, but this one could be different. It looks fun and action packed, and as long as it doesn't stray too far towards the tongue-in-cheek side of things, all should be well. Even if it sucks, I doubt it can end up being as lame as Van Helsing... right? Either way, we'll be there on opening day.

February 1st- Warm Bodies- A zombie love story aimed at Tweens was pretty much an inevitability, right? I mean, Twilight showed a world of dim-witted women that loving a murderous creature that has to fight off the urge to kill you on a regular basis was the pinnacle of romance, so why not zombies? This one looks like it could end up being funny though, and maybe even sweet, so we'll give it a fair shot. At least Warm Bodies is playing this for laughs, instead of attempting to set feminism back by another 50 years, like Twilight did. This year is going to be filled with tons of supernatural Teen romance shit, isn't it? Bah.

February 1st- The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia- So I guess I'm confused as to how this movie is set in Georgia, and the title still has Connecticut in it... I suppose it will all make sense when.. no it won't! LOL Nothing about this movie will make sense. The first one sucked, this one is getting dumped on VOD and in a limited amount of theaters at the same time, and the biggest name in the cast is Cicely Tyson. Let's just not pretend that everything is alright here, alright? Alright.

February 1st- Girls Against Boys- We love Danielle Panabaker around these parts, so we're pretty excited to see her running around and shooting a bunch of jerks who have it coming to them. This could be one of those "nice surprise" Indies, and we're hoping that it will be.

February 13th- Beautiful Creatures- Because Hollywood desperately wants another tween romance franchise that involves impossibly good looking supernatural kids, we've got Beautiful Creatures to look forward to. This time, it's a normal boy who is trying to save a "different" girl from becoming an evil witch... God I hope this ends up being better than its Wiki synopsis makes it out to be. A part of me likes the trailer and thinks that the movie might actually end up being good, but then the rest of me remembers Twilight. We shall see, I suppose.

February 22nd- Dark Skies- This one looks pretty generic to us, but then again so did The Fourth Kind, and we ended up really liking that one. Maybe it will work. Maybe it will be a sleeper hit and rock our world. Then again, maybe it won't. We may wait for this one to hit BD/DVD to find out.

March 1st- Stoker- One of our most anticipated movies of 2013, we're dying to see Stoker. Chan Wook Park is a genius of a Director (Oldboy and the Vengeance Trilogy, Thirst), and his English Language debut is sure to be a worthwhile one. Inspired by Hitchcock's Shadow of a Doubt and Bram Stoker's Dracula, this movie looks to be a wild ride. No vampires though, so, get that through your head. Stoker means something else here, I guess. March 1st can't get here quick enough.

March 1st- Phantom- I 'effing love Ed Harris. The guy is an acting powerhouse, and the idea of him playing a Submarine Captain trying to stop a possible rogue nuclear strike is about as intriguing as it gets. David Duchovny ain't no slouch neither (I just typed that in a southern accent, no clue why, y'all), and when you add the awesome character acting of William Fitchner and Lance Henriksen, and I'm all sorts of down for this one. The trailer looks great, and this movie is definitely on our must see list.

March 1st- The Last Exorcism 2- I'm having a huge issue with this movie's title; how can the last of something happen twice? Technically, the first movie should be re-named The Second to Last Exorcism, or The Penultimate Exorcism, shouldn't it? Poor title aside, we liked the first one a lot for what it was, and we're hoping that the sequel is a s good. Then again, with the way the first movie ended, I don't see how they can really make a sequel plausible... no Cotton Marcus makes me a bit wary too. We liked him.

March 8th- The ABC's of Death- An anthology flick with 26 Chapters offered up by 26 of the Horror Genre's "best and brightest Directors"... sounds interesting to us. The trailer looks all sorts of bananas, and we're imagining that this one is going to be a quick paced, bang! bang! bang!, in your face kind of affair, and we're fine with that. We've been waiting for this one for a while now, and we hope it makes us happy. It had better! (It's just been that kind of day.)

As you can see, there's both plenty to love (and be afraid of) in the first quarter of 2013, but hey, we take it as it comes, right?

See you soon with April-June.

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