Release Date: In Limited Release now, and on BD/DVD on February 19th.
Written by: Kern Saxton and Dustin Pfaff.
Directed by: Kern Saxton.
Starring: Cortney Palm, Tony Todd, Mark Hamill, Noah Hathaway, Andy Mackenzie, James Duvall, Sonny Chiba, Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey and Danny Trejo.
Cortney Palm stole our hearts late last year when Santa threw her whore-ass in a woodchipper in Silent Night. Since then, we're all like "I'd love to eat some food off of her naked body." Well, it looks like she heard our pleas, because that's exactly what Sushi Girl is about.
Sure, it's about more than just that, but the crux of the movie is that a bunch of dudes sit around a table and eat fish off of a hot chick's naked body.
As plotlines go, that's just about as good as it gets.
As far as the execution of said premise goes, we have to say that Sushi Girl was a really nice surprise, because we expected it to be kinda shitty, which it wasn't at all.
Sushi Girl is the story of Tony Todd and his gang of misfit gangsters, who meet up at a quiet sushi place to celebrate their crimey's release from prison. They want to give him a special dinner experience since he took the fall for their botched diamond heist, and kept quiet about it while in the pen. That's what crimey's do, you see.
|This picture makes me wonder if Tony Todd is indeed Asian...|
Nakedness and torturous violence ensue.
|Don't eyeball the Gangsters, that's when they rape you!|
|The Thuggle scene; because even thugs need a snuggle.|
For us though, Mark Hamill was the standout here. His character was a bit silly in his flamboyance at times, but he delivered a truly inspired performance as an obviously insane thug, which kind of reminded us of his variation of The Joker in the Batman Animated Universe. He was really fun to watch, and he pretty much creeped us out.
|"This is not the Sushi Girl you're looking for..."|
|If there's a Sushi Girl part 2, we demand an extended lesbian lovemaking scene.|
|"Those are some nice titties..." We know, Tony Todd, we know.|
|Pretty sure she's a cyborg, because genetics do not usually work out that well.|
Sushi Girl is a borderline B+/A-
Here's why we love Cortney Palm; she just doesn't give a fuck! She'll get naked in a room filled with Candyman, Luke Skywalker, Atreyu from The Neverending Story, and Sonny Chiba, and she won't even flinch.
Plus, she's not adverse to peeing on wicker chair in the middle of a field while pondering the mysteries of life, as evidenced in the picture below. She's obviously pretty complex. And hot.