December 27, 2012

2012- The Year in Horror Hotties- Part 1

2012 may not have been the strongest year for the Horror Genre in recent memory, but at least there was no lack of beautiful girls for movie lovers to enjoy.

Around here, we understand that the average Horror Hottie can breathe life into even the dullest of affairs, or make the best of them even better. They make our eyebrows raise, they make our troubles disappear, they make our hearts feel lighter...

... which all equates to "They give us the tingles in our pants, and real good."

Man or woman, sinner or saint, everybody loves the pretty things in life. So let us celebrate those prettiest of things, the Horror Hotties, that came our way in 2012.
 
Alice EveATM, The Raven-  Sure, the genre flicks she starred in this year were on the sucky side of things, but my God, have you seen her? The face, the lips, the dirty pillows... Alice Eve is so ridiculously hot that we're still not sure how she isn't our Hottie of the Year. The fact that she starred in a movie called ATM (misleading title aside) should be enough for her to rule every mans spank-bank for eternity. We love this girl, and we'll take her any way that we can get her, even if it means having to endure some shitty movies.

Jennifer Lawrence- The Hunger Games, House at the End of the Street- We're pretty sure that the reason that she was voted 2012's Most Desirable Woman in the World was because of her sweaty/wet performance in House at the End of the Street. The movie may have sucked, but seeing her run around all wet in a tank top truly was boob-tastic. She is really one of the hottest women alive right now.

Caity Lotz- The Pact- Who in the hell is Caity Lotz, and where in the hell did she get that ass? The Pact was good enough on its own, but her freckle-faced cuteness made it that much better. Not only is she smoking hot, but judging by some of the projects she's chosen (Death Valley, NTSF:SD:SUV) she's a cool chick with a sense of humor too. Now, she just needs to get naked in a few movies, and Mankind will be better off for it. We need more from her, and soon.

Kate Beckinsale- Underworld: Awakening, Total Recall- It's odd to look at this British tart and think that she's pushing 40, because she's absolutely as hot as most 20-year-olds out there. Maybe she made a pact with The Devil or something, because seriously, she shouldn't be this good looking anymore. There are few women in Hollywood that look as good as she does in a tight black bodysuit, and we're honored to have her show up in so many of our beloved genre's movies on a regular basis. 

Elena Anaya- The Skin I Live In- The Skin I Live In confused us, because on one hand, Elena Anaya was so hot and so naked in it, that we were instantly enraptured by it all. On the other hand, the fact that she was *SPOILER* really a man who was forcibly turned into a woman by a creepy Antonio Banderas*END SPOILER*, made us question our boners. We didn't stop having them mind you, our boners, but we did question them. Either way, damn is she gorgeous.

India EisleyUnderworld: Awakening- At just 19-years-old, this girl is so incredibly gorgeous that we shudder to think how hot she'll be when she turns 21... or even 30. Daughter of Olivia Hussey (Black Christmas 1974), she definitely helped make the latest Underworld movie more bearable. More Horror movies please, India, the genre needs you. *We almost hesitated to include her on our Hotties list, because she looks like she's 12, and until recently, we assumed that she was. 18 is our limit, man. We do have (debatable) moral standards, you know.

Cortney Palm- Sushi Girl, Silent Night- Now here's a girl that came out of nowhere for us and blew us away with her wonderful ability to be naked on camera. Cortney Palm seems to have a decent little genre career going for herself, and we're just sorry it too so long for us to discover her. Sushi Girl is really a great flick, and not just because the titular (tit, get it?) character gets buck naked and lets a bunch of guys eat dead fish off of her... although that is an excellent selling point... Ok, you know what, this is a post about hot chicks, so movie quality be damned! The Tits and Ass we're stupendous! Thanks for that, Cortney. We love girls who aren't prudes.

Danielle Harris- 90 different movies- Is there any other actress who is a more prolific Horror Hottie than Danielle Harris is? She's quintessential, even. She's always got 20 different Horror flicks in various stages of production, and she always looks like a sexy, slutty smurf. What more can you really ask for from a Scream Queen? It's crazy hard to believe that she's over 35 year's old now, because she still looks like a rebellious Jailbait bad girl, and maybe that's exactly why she endures... She really is one of the genre's all-time greats, and we truly do love her to death. Not literally though. We prefer her alive.

Elizabeth Olsen- Red Lights, Silent House- She's only been acting for a few years now, but the Hottest Olsen Sister has already blazed a trail to Indie Darling status, and she seems to be fine with embracing the Horror Genre as well. Also, she has some great boobs which she's already shown in all of their splendor. Also, not a bad face either. So, more genre flicks, more boobs, and maybe do some lesbian stuff soon, Lizzie. Thanks a lot. Your fans appreciate it.

AnnaLynn McCord- Excision- We found Excision to be a mixed bag at best, but there's no denying the quality of AnnaLynn's performance, or her hotness... although, she was made to look really ugly in the movie, so it's odd how she's one of our favorite Hotties of the Year because of said movie. Maybe it's her ability to commit to being ugly that made her so hot to us? Anywho, girl is bangin', and we're talking Model Quality here, so it's all good.

Amanda Seyfried- Gone- Lots of people hated Gone and thought that it was one of the worst movies they'd seen in a long time, but we didn't hate it at all. It's true that we think Amanda Seyfried is one of the hottest girls alive, and that her boobs make any film instantly more watchable, but Gone was really not that bad. Did we mention how hot Amanda and her boobs are? Because, she's hot, man. Go watch her in Chloe, and tell us that she's not. You're a liar if you do!

Ania Bukstein- Rabies- Here at the end of part one of our Hottie celebration, the top half, we'd be remiss not to mention this hot Russian beauty. Not only is Rabies (Kalevet) one of the best Horror flicks of 2012, but it boasts some truly hot chicks, including the insanely hawt Ania Bukstein. She kinda looks like a Russian Sex Robot in the picture above, but that's alright because the world needs more Sex Robots, Russian or not, don't you agree? See the flick and enjoy the chick, because it's like a double treat.

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