Sushi Girl (2013)

(aka Sexiest Dinner Party Ever)
Release Date: In Limited Release now, and on BD/DVD on February 19th.
Country: USA.
Written by: Kern Saxton and Dustin Pfaff.
Directed by: Kern Saxton.
Starring: Cortney Palm, Tony Todd, Mark Hamill, Noah Hathaway, Andy Mackenzie, James Duvall, Sonny Chiba, Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey and Danny Trejo.

Cortney Palm stole our hearts late last year when Santa threw her whore-ass in a woodchipper in Silent Night. Since then, we're all like "I'd love to eat some food off of her naked body." Well, it looks like she heard our pleas, because that's exactly what Sushi Girl is about.

Sure, it's about more than just that, but the crux of the movie is that a bunch of dudes sit around a table and eat fish off of a hot chick's naked body.

As plotlines go, that's just about as good as it gets.

As far as the execution of said premise goes, we have to say that Sushi Girl was a really nice surprise, because we expected it to be kinda shitty, which it wasn't at all.

We're not going to talk too much about the plot, because doing so would serve to undermine where it goes and the twists that it offers. We'll just keep it simple, so as not to spoil.

Sushi Girl is the story of Tony Todd and his gang of misfit gangsters, who meet up at a quiet sushi place to celebrate their crimey's release from prison. They want to give him a special dinner experience since he took the fall for their botched diamond heist, and kept quiet about it while in the pen. That's what crimey's do, you see.

This picture makes me wonder if Tony Todd is indeed Asian...

Of course as the night unfolds, old tensions boil to the surface and the poor Sushi Girl -who's laying there all naked while these thugs eat fish off of her private parts- just has to endure it all, and hope that she doesn't get shot, or maybe even raped. She's just trying to make a living, you know?

Nakedness and torturous violence ensue.

Don't eyeball the Gangsters, that's when they rape you!

The best testament as to how good Sushi Girl was, is the fact that most of the movie was spent in a single room, with people talking, and it still worked well. Sure, there were some action flashbacks and plenty of violence mixed in there too, but for the most part, it was mostly exposition. We can thank the writing for that, because it was sharp and gave the actors some good stuff to sink their teeth into and run with it.

The Thuggle scene; because even thugs need a snuggle.

The cast was made up of some true genre legends, and whether their parts were big or small, they all nailed them pretty well. Even relative newcomer Cortney Palm showed that she was more than a pretty face, awesome boobs, and a perfect ass; she can actually act.

For us though, Mark Hamill was the standout here. His character was a bit silly in his flamboyance at times, but he delivered a truly inspired performance as an obviously insane thug, which kind of reminded us of his variation of The Joker in the Batman Animated Universe. He was really fun to watch, and he pretty much creeped us out.

"This is not the Sushi Girl you're looking for..."

As small of a complaint as this is, we felt that some of the dialogue could have been a bit tighter. It was fine for the most part, but there were lines that felt a little bit too forced, as if the writers and actors were trying just a little to hard to be iconic, if that makes any sense. Like I said, it's a minor gripe though, as most of it was pretty good.

If there's a Sushi Girl part 2, we demand an extended lesbian lovemaking scene.

With a hot, subservient and naked girl in the room, no one got laid. What the hell, man! We're dismayed at the lack of inappropriate behavior.

"Those are some nice titties..." We know, Tony Todd, we know.

If you like bloody, creative torture, then Sushi Girl will definitely make you smile. There's also plenty of gun violence to be had here as well, but the best bits involve the "up close and personal" stuff. It gets pretty messy.

Ouch.

The movie is about a naked girl letting guys eat fish off of her body, so it goes without saying that the nudity is plentiful. Cortney Palm is a hot little sassbox, and we not only support her future career endeavors, but her future nakedness as well. Especially dat ass. I mean, where did that thing come from?

Pretty sure she's a cyborg, because genetics do not usually work out that well.

Sushi Girl is a perfect example of why we do what we do here at THC; there are always great little films out there that need and deserve as much word of mouth as they can get, and Sushi Girl definitely falls into that category. It's fun, sexy, bloody and entertaining, and absolutely delivers a solid bang for the buck. We'll be adding this to our personal collection once it hits Blu-ray, and we have to recommend that you see it when you get the chance.

Sushi Girl is a borderline B+/A-

Here's why we love Cortney Palm; she just doesn't give a fuck! She'll get naked in a room filled with Candyman, Luke Skywalker, Atreyu from The Neverending Story, and Sonny Chiba, and she won't even flinch.

Plus, she's not adverse to peeing on wicker chair in the middle of a field while pondering the mysteries of life, as evidenced in the picture below. She's obviously pretty complex. And hot.