Contracted (2013)

We had such high hopes for Contracted. We really did. It's got a great premise, it delivers disturbing content like few other movies we've seen this year, and it stars the vastly underrated Najarra Townsend.

The main problem with this movie is that its colorful strokes are more impressive than the overall picture that they end up painting.

The Bad and Downright Horrendous sections below are going to contain some major plot spoilers, so if you want to get the gist of what we thought about Contracted, but still intend on watching it anyhow, skip those sections.

"Don't be a whore, or you'll get aids and die." I think that's pretty much the point of this movie.

Sam is a lesbian who decides to go to a party one night, because the girl she's dating is brushing her off, and she's all sad about it. Being a recovering drug addict, it makes perfect sense to go to a party when you're emotionally fragile, because you're not going to have the urge to self-medicate or anything. Of course, Sam proceeds to get herself good and schnockered.

Aah, relationship drama.

Once schnockered, Sam gets roofied, and effectively date-raped, by some guy named BJ. The next morning she wakes up feeling awful, and to find that her vagina is profusely bleeding. She takes a shower, bleeds out a little, and then heads to work.While at work, she has a little "spell" and fills the toilet with blood, and decides to go see the doctor.

Looks like a head cold to me.

The doctor does nothing for her, so she goes and sees her girlfriend, who also does nothing for her. She goes home and finds her mom there, who also does nothing for her, and at this point, the it's apparent that it's going to be up to her to do something for herself... which she doesn't.

Yeah, honey, you're pretty much on your own.

From here on out, Sam finds herself falling apart, both literally and figuratively, and she's frantic to discover why. turns out that BJ (her rapist) has given her some crazy sort of aids that makes her expel blood from all of her orifices, lose teeth, and just rot away in general. Body Horror and calamity ensue.

Too bad her Mom isn't right around the corner to give her some help.

If Contracted got one thing right, it would be its disturbing content. It was really skeevy to watch Sam's body begin to fall apart, and at times, it was even sickening. The FX were solid here, and they made this movie a messy, bloody good time... in that aspect.

The opening scene of this movie was profoundly disturbing. It was minimal and quick, but it creeped us right the hell out.

Najarra Townsend is a talented girl. She's hot, she's a great actress, and she has a good screen presence. Her character here sucks, but that's no fault of hers.

Don't pout. We like you.

***SPOILER ALERT***

This movie's biggest failing is that it had an awesome and unique premise, which it managed to mangle beyond belief; A guy has sex with a dead body and then proceeds to have sex with a random girl at a party, which ends up slowly turning her into a zombie, which potentially turns her into Patient Zero for the Zombie Apocalypse. Now, I'm guessing about the Patient Zero part of that plot line, but It sounds like that's what the writer was going for. Sounds pretty cool, right?

Too bad the rest of the movie was so ridiculous and distracting that it made us not care anymore.

I read a review about a month ago that said "If you can get past the idiocy and self-absorption of every major character in the piece, you will enjoy this creepy film." To that I say, why should I have to? It was a chore to find any sort of sympathy for Samantha, let alone everyone else in this movie, and she was going through something truly horrendous that should definitely garner my sympathy.

Maybe writer/director/producer Eric England did all of that on purpose. Maybe this was his little jab at how clueless and vapid people are. I don't know. What I do know is that scathing indictment or not, it all came off as annoying rather than clever.

***SPOILER ALERT***

No. Just, no.

There's so much about this movie that doesn't ring true, that it pretty much kills the parts that actually do.

***SPOILER ALERT***

A girl has some dizzy spells, has a liberal amount of blood coming out of her vagina, goes to the doctor, he looks at her and decides that she's got a cold and a rash? Which part of that causes hemorrhaging exactly? Then when she goes back to see him two days later, and it obvious that something is extremely wrong with her, he doesn't admit her to the Hospital or give her any antibiotics or anything, he just says that he can't say what the issue is because her bloodwork isn't back yet, and "these things take time?" He stares at her like she's a medical anomaly, but does absolutely nothing for her.

His grand advice? "Do not come into contact with anyone, until we can determine what it is we're dealing with." Oh, you mean like quarantine myself? Like they would do in a Hospital, if you admitted me to one? Right.

Speaking of doing nothing, no one in the movie tells this girl, who is obviously falling apart in literal fashion, that she needs to go to the Hospital asap. No one calls 911, not even Sam herself. Wouldn't you be so freaked out that you'd call 911 immediately?

Then we have the mother who sees her daughter vomiting a liberal amount of blood, and not only kinda shrugs it off, but doesn't even come back to check on her? Oh, because she had a drug problem before, and this is just that issue rearing its ugly head again? Your Daughter is vomiting blood profusely... on drugs or not, get her some help.

So Sam's vagina is bleeding, she has a nasty vaginal rash, she pulls out her tooth while brushing her teeth, a maggot falls out of her vagina, her eye is turning red, and she feels horrible... so she just goes and takes a nap? Oh right, her doctor is waiting on her blood results, so, forget taking yourself to a Hospital where they could address your rapidly declining health.

And would you really kiss someone who is obviously sick, and has half of their bottom lip missing?

I could go on, but I'm sure you get the point.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Oh look, an angry, lesbian riot grrrl who thinks that all men are pigs*. How refreshing. *We may all be pigs, but there's no need to be a dick about it, dick.

This one is plenty gory. There's a ton of blood and nastiness on display throughout Contracted, and most Gorehounds will enjoy the fun of it all.

Poor girl's got herself a bloody vagine.

The only reason that Contracted gets a D+ grade, and not the DO NOT WANT which it mostly deserves, is because that visually (and viscerally), it delivers the uncomfortable, messy goods. It's well made, and as an adventure in being grossed-out, the movie works well.

As a movie in general, it does not. Contracted is filled with unlikable characters dong blatantly ignorant things, which in the end ruins everything else that's going on around them. The more I think about it, the more I believe that the stupid characters were stupid by design, and existed to make a point, but it doesn't make what I just watched sit any better with me.

A weak script'll get ya every time.

D+

Najarra Townsend is only 24-years-old, and she already has 64 acting credits under her belt. Also, she's really pleasant to look at. So, impressive on both counts.