Cast Members of Note- Bill Nighy, Rhona Mitra, and Michael Sheen. And a 3 second cameo by everyone's favorite death dealer...
The third installment in the Underworld saga is a story about inter-species erotica, and asks the question: can a Lycan and a Vampire find true love? Well, the answer is no, because Vampires are pretty much stuck up and pricky, and willing to kill even their own kids to keep their bloodline "pure." Remind you of anything? Oh I don't know, Nazi's maybe?!?!?!
She likes it "wolfie style." Shush, it's all I could come up with. |
We know the story from the first movie; wolf-boy loves vampire girl, vampire girl's elder dad forbids such "ethnically diverse" scrumping, wolf-boy gets locked up in chains, vampire girl tries to set him free, but dad puts a stop to that by grounding her... yes, even in vampire circles kids get grounded. Parents just don't understand.
I won't spoil the ending for you here, though if you've seen the first movie you know what's coming, but suffice it to say that Vampire/Lycan carnage ensues, and no one gets laid.
"I'm glad your mother isn't alive to see this! Now, go to your room!" |
I thought that the absence of Kate Beckinsale would ultimately hurt a third movie, but Rhona Mitra made me forget there ever was a Selene... She's hot, bad-ass, hot, sexy, and hot. And bad-ass. Go watch Doomsday if you doubt her bad-assery... The girl kicks ass. And she's hot.
She would totally kick your ass. |
Some of the CGI was kinda cheesy, and I'm talking about the scenes where the wolves were running. It's a minor thing really, but it drives me nuts. Then again I hate CGI in Horror films, so maybe I'm biased...
"You're biased, human!" |
Titanic didn't have crossbows though. |
Some side boob and near nudity, but nothing more.
"...and we don't die often." or "I'll kill you. All of you!"
Vampire elders tend to be dicks. Also, female Vampires are always hot.
Dick (left) vs. Hot (right) |
B+
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is available now on Blu-ray, DVD.
Rhona Mitra is so smoking hot that the Surgeon General has her on a watch list. True story.
The first one was the best of the series but this one was way way better than the second one. And I learned not to listen to critics after I saw this movie. An A- for me.
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