February 8, 2009

Blu-ray Review: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

Forget the haters, this is one bad-ass Horror flick...

Sub-Genre- Slasher/Survival/Prequel
In Attendance- Me, Machine, Chris, Christian and Teryn.
Cast Members of Note- Jordana "Not naked nearly enough" Brewster, Diora "Good god, they're huge!" Baird, R. Lee Ermey, and Andrew Bynarski.

Little Tommy Hewitt was born in a slaughterhouse, and chucked in the trash because he was creepy-looking. A woman finds him and takes him home, thus sealing every wayward teen traveler's fate in the state of Texas forever. Years later, he gets fired from the very same slaughterhouse, and he isn't happy about it. To make matters worse, his boss calls him names and tell him to piss off, which prompts Tommy to come back and kill him with a hammer.

Little Tommy Hewitt.
When a group of wayward teen travelers happen along, they get into a game of chicken with a biker chick, and all end up in a crash. Luckily for them, the Sheriff comes along and decides that he wants to have his nephew, Tommy, kill them all and turn them into supper. He brings them all home to the Hewitt death ranch, where the two guys get into a crazy pull up contest, even though it isn't really the time for such things.

A pull-up contest? Now? Really?
One of the chicks (who avoided being captured to begin with) attempts to free her friends before they can be butchered, but doesn't do such a good job; she tries though, she really, really tries. Mind-numbing violence and gore ensues. I won't spoil the ending here, but suffice it to say that what comes next isn't pretty for any of the teens. Oh, and we don't ever find out who won the pull-up contest either. My money was on the gay looking one.

Guess who really wins in the end...
An actual sequel/prequel to the 2003 remake, TCM: The Beginning delivers, and dare we say even better than it's predecessor did. I have to give it to Platinum Dunes; they created the right atmosphere, poured on the gore, held off on the cheesiness, and kicked us square in the nuts with this one.

The star of the show here is R. Lee Ermey; that guy is just fantastic in whatever he does, and he absolutely rocks as the demented Hewitt family "Sheriff." It's also interesting to note that I really want to do it with Diora Baird. Really bad.

I'd dodge the draft for those too.
The ending. I know it had to be that way (since it's "the beginning" and all), but I really expected... something else to happen. I'm trying to avoid spoilers here, people!

The scraping of arm bones, the ripping off of faces... I don't know where to start. This movie is not for the squeamish!

You should be hiding.
Listen, if this movie isn't bloody enough, nasty enough, gory enough, or brutal enough for you, you have serious issues.

Diora Baird comes damn close to baring her assets, but all we get are undies.

Do I even need to say anything?
"This is redemption lady, that's what this is!" or "People may not remember what we say here tonight, but by God they'll remember what we did."

Don't ever call the hulking, slow-witted guy with a chainsaw in his hand, a "retard."

I know this grade may spark some controversy with TCM purists, but this was a really good movie. In fact, this might be the 2nd best in the series, along side of the 2003 remake. It's everything a Leatherface fan could want and more. TCM: The Beginning definitely deserves a watch, and IMO should be a part of any respectable Horror library.


TCM: The Beginning is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.


Jordanna Brewster is in this, and she kisses chicks!


  1. I loved this one alot even though it seem's most people didn't care for it for one reason or another. I thought it was brutal and bloody and they amped up the gore.I like the first one,it is a classic but this is my second favorite hand's down of the series.


  2. Yeah, I think it's my second fave of the series too. I think a lot of people these days tend to dismiss things out of hand without giving them a fair chance, and this movie is an example of that.