VOD Review: Zombeavers (2015)

(aka Better Than Sharknado. )
Release Date: March 20th.
Country: USA.
Rating: R.
Written by: Al Kaplan, Jon Kaplan, and Jordan Rubin.
Directed by: Jordan Rubin.
Starring: Rachel Melvin, Cortney Palm, Lexi Atknins, Rex Linn, Hutch Dano, Peter Gilroy, Bill Burr and John Mayer. Yes, that John Mayer.

The second you hear the title, you already know whether or not you want to see a movie called Zombeavers. I mean, either evil beaver puppets eating people's faces is your thing, or it isn't, you know?

You know!

Zombeavers starts out with two idiots transporting kegs of hazardous waste in an open-bed pickup truck (?!?), when they hit a deer, causing one of the kegs to pop out of the truck and roll into a nearby river. The biohazard keg then floats down the river a spell, shoots some rapids, and eventually comes to rest at a beaver dam, where it sprays its deadly contents all over some onlooking beavers. *That's how they become Zombeavers.

SOMEONE HAD BETTER SHOTGUN THAT KEG...

Nearby, a group of girls arrives at a cabin for a girls-only weekend, because boys suck. While sunbathing, they spot the beaver dam and decide to swim over to find a beaver, because beavers are all cute and stuff. Instead of beavers though, they encounter an angry bear and a rapey hunter, and barely escape with their lives! Later that night, a bunch of boys crash their girls-only weekend, and everyone is attacked by a "rabid" beaver, which they kill... or do they?

IT'S NOT DEAD, BECAUSE IT'S UNDEAD!

The next morning, everyone heads down to the swimmin' hole, because that's exactly what anyone who has just been attacked by a "rabid" beaver would do, and they're attacked by even more Zombeavers. Cheesy hi-jinks and cross-species contamination ensues.

SHE MAD.

Zombeavers delivers exactly what its ridiculous title promises, and that's a ridiculous movie that ends up being enjoyable on a Guilty Pleasure sort of a level. It's got hot chicks in various stages of undress, some great gore gags of various levels of effectiveness, and plenty of crude humor. If you're looking for anything else from a movie like this, then you're most likely going to be disappointed.

It took us reading through the movie's credits on IMDB before we realized that John Mayer was one of the morons in the truck. How he ended up in this movie, we don't know, but his little cameo was amusing as hell.

We also have to say that the Gag Reel at the end was pretty damn funny, and that there's a stinger after the end credits which also made us laugh... and shake our heads. 

Come for the crazy premise, stay for the gore and the sexy ladies, and that's that. Enjoy.

BEAVERS, ZOM OR OTHERWISE, ARE WHY WE'RE HERE.

Why is Cortney Palm the only one who got naked in this movie? Way to leave your girl hanging, other girls in the movie who didn't lose their bikini tops!

AT LEAST ONE OF THESE GIRLS IS NOT A PRUDE!

Zombees? Really?

BAXTER WOKE FROM HIS NIGHTMARE, CONVINCED THAT THE ZOMBEAGLES WERE REAL, AND THAT THEY WERE COMING FOR HIM. SOON.

There's plenty of blood & gore to be had here, most of it involving beavers being stabbed, shot, or beaten to death. The humans also take their share of abuse, being bitten, scratched, eaten, and shot in the face. The best bit though has to be the "revenge" that one of the girls gets on her cheating boyfriend. Sounds vague, I know, but you'll know it when you see it... and you will cringe.

THAT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

Cortney Palm goes topless, and the other girls run around in bathing suits and undies and such. There are also some sex scenes, but nothing too graphic. Also, a dick pic.

DON'T BE SHY, THE  FOREST WON'T JUDGE YOU.

Beavers kill. Also, John Mayer is a pretty funny dude.

SO IS BILL BURR, BUT WE ALREADY KNEW THAT.

As ridiculous as it is, and it's supposed to be, Zombeavers is a pretty fun movie. Again, you already know whether or not you want to see this movie, so really, us saying yea or nay about it probably isn't going to make much of a difference. We liked it for what it was though, and most likely, so will you.

C+

Zombeavers is available now on VOD and in Limited Theatrical Release.

The girls of Zombeavers were so hot that we had to give them their own Hottie post! You can check them out HERE.