Quick Review: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009)

Lately, I'm at a loss for words when it comes to the film career of Rob Zombie. Halloween 2 was one of the worst movies that we saw this year (and decade); he's planning on remaking The Blob, with a creature that isn't a blob (?!?); and now this...

For us, El Superbeasto was painfully bad. It looks great, and the voice actors have nothing at all to be ashamed of, but it's such a vulgar and random mess of lame crap, that the the good parts failed to matter to me... and I like vulgar. I LOVE VULGAR. I really think though, that Rob Zombie uses vulgarity so much because he just doesn't know how to do anything else.

Ha!

For instance, the main character is playing an Italian guy in a porn movie, and he's about to have sex with two girls and says "How do you-a like-a my cannoli now, 'eh?" Funny line! Right? Unless you're a 12-year-old boy, no. I mean, who else is that supposed to appeal to? Dirty comedy is great, but it's got to be clever, or it just feels like dirt for the sake of dirt.

Enough with the nods to the old school Horror and oddities of way, way back Rob, it's not clever anymore. We get that you like old and weird shit, but not many other people do, hence why it's not around anymore. You're supposed to be a fresh, vibrant voice in the modern day Horror scene, and instead it's looking like you're more of a one trick pony than anything else. Your next project better be stellar, Rob Zombie, because one more strike makes three, and at that point, you can go fuck yourself.

My feelings exactly.

Random and endless curse words, cartoon sluts, cartoon boobs, cartoon porn, jokes that aren't funny, annoyingly kitschy sound effects... The 15-year-old Adult Swim crowd might like this movie, but it's lost on me, and not because I don't get it; stupid shit like this just isn't funny to me anymore. As juvenile and moronic as I can be in everyday life, my brain has moved past this kind of crap.

My 15-year-old self would have probably loved it though.

Here are some more pics from the movie. That is all.