January 1, 2017

The Worst Movies of 2016!!

The following movies are the ones that irked us the most in 2016; some because they underwhelmed, others because they were just unequivocally horrible. No matter the reason, they were painful to endure, and we're here to share that pain with you... hopefully so that you can avoid experiencing it for yourselves. We're humanitarians, you see.

We're only going to pick on 5 bad movies this year, because there weren't really that many bad ones to choose from. Just kidding, there were tons of crap-fests that hit both the big and small screen in 2016, we just don't want to have to remember most of them.

*Be sure to read our reviews of each movie (when available), as they provide more in-depth reasoning as to why these movies were so painful to watch.

The absolute worst Horror flick that we saw this year was the remake of the French Neo-Classic, Martyrs. Where the original, whether you liked it or not, was a grim, brutal, thought-provoking piece if art, this remake is lame, glossy, uninspired mess of a film that misses the point of the story that it's trying to re-tell completely.

Infuriating, it was.


Almost as bad as the Martyrs remake, this unnecessary redux of the Eli Roth's 2002 Cult Classic was just about as painful to endure. Where the original was campy fun, this remake plays it straight, and doesn't really do a great job of it. There should be a 20-year rule on remakes, and this movie is why, case in point.

How the guy who gave us Wolf Creek got conned into helming this frightless, generic, Hollywood bore-fest is beyond me, but he's capable of much better work than this.


Here's the thing: I Am the Pretty Thing... is actually a really good movie. It looks fantastic, it stars the gorgeous Ruth Wilson, it's dark and atmospheric... but nothing happens throughout its runtime. Like nothing. It's like one big trailer that hints at a good movie to come, but never quite gets us there.

Given the reaction we had to director Oz Perkins' The Blackcoat's Daughter (we absolutely loved it), it floored us how disappointed we were in his follow-up flick. What happened?

It hurts us to put this movie anywhere near a "Worst of" list. We're huge fans of the series, and of Coscarelli's in general, and there were plenty of movie "worse" than Ravager this year, but again, we're baffled at how bad this one turned out. Maybe Don Coscarelli should have made this one himself instead of passing the reigns to someone else.

Ravager feels cheap, is a mess in many ways, and felt like a fan tribute film rather than a fitting final installment of a beloved series.

At least we got to see Angus and Reggie do it one last time. Bittersweet, that.

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