Christmas just around the corner, we figured that we needed to sit down and watch a Christmas-themed Horror flick or two. Sure, we like the normal Christmas stuff, such as rampant consumerism, annoying Christmas music, and pretending to like everyone in your family because you have to, but what we really need this time of year is to drink some hot cocoa and watch some crazy dude in a Santa suit hacking people to death.
That just says Happy Holidays to us in a very special way.
We always watch Black Christmas, Gremlins, and maybe some Silent Night, Deadly Night, but we needed something new this year. That something new turned out to be All Through the House; a fun, 80's throwback of a Slasher flick that was packed full of all kinds of wet and red presents for us to enjoy.
Christmas time, and Rachel has returned to her childhood town to visit her crazy Nana, and leave a present under the tree for her long-dead mother. You see, 15 years ago, her mother disappeared (or was killed, still not sure) at the same time as a local neighbor girl went missing. And yes, the two events are tied together in a "shocking" way. You'll never see it coming from a mile away, either.
|PLOT BE DAMNED; WHAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT HERE IS THAT DRESS.|
There's more to the story, but it really doesn't matter. Scantily-clad chicks and gory kills ensue.
|WHAT A WASTE OF HOTNESS.|
Where the movie does get it right though is in the bloodletting department. This is an 80's Slasher throwback in every sense, and it shows in its kill scenes, which are shown in all their glory; and in the amount of blood that flows, which is liberal. The practical effects work very well for a movie with such a small budget.
The movie also excels in the babes department. Populated with a bevy of modern day Scream Queens, all of whom appear various forms of sexy dress and undress, All Through the House recalls a day when Horror films were titillating, and unashamedly so. As exquisite and lovely as the female form is, you're damn right we should be able to appreciate it in the films we love. This movie allows us to do just that.
|THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE. WE LOVE HER.|
|THAT POOR BASTARD!|
|AS LONG AS THAT SHOWER TOOK, SHE'S STILL DIRTY.|
All Through the House is a movie that works well as an 80's Slasher throwback, even if it's not the most well-written or well-acted effort out there. It's fun though, and it delivers plenty of shameless goods in the name of bloody fun, and for that, we have to sing its praises.
All Through the House is available now on Blu-ray, DVD, and VOD.
All Through the House, shall we?