We here at THC are lovers, so were fine with V-day, although we do have our own special way of celebrating all things love and sex which doesn't involve candy or flowers. It involves blood, sex and death; the three cornerstones of life. *That's a scientific fact.
Forget the chick flicks; here's what you need to be watching with your sweetie.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981) |
It's a good old school Slasher that has some awesome kills (in the un-cut version, that is), and celebrates love. How can you go wrong with that? .
MY BLOODY VALENTINE (2009) |
Guess what the original MBV didn't have that this remake does? A nearly 3 minute long, full-frontal nude scene in 3D, involving a hot blond (the incomparable Betsy Rue) having sex and running. In 3D. Fully naked.
Yeah, that is the stuff that dreams are made of.
The rest of the movie is basically the same as the first, just this time around the heartbreak of Harry Warden is in 3D... and not as good. Still, it's a fun flick.
VALENTINE (2001) |
This is a glossy, by the numbers Slasher flick that isn't as bad as you might think. Everyone in it is pretty, there's some good gore, and it involves Valentines Day. And bloody candy.
It's fun enough if you can stomach watching David Boreanz try to act for 90-minutes or so. It really could have used some more nakedness though.
AUDITION (1999) |
Audition is a tender story that illustrates why it's a bad idea to bang a chick and then kick her to the curb.
The final act of Audition is especially moving, when the troubled couple tries to work through their problems, and make love last. "Kiri, Kiri, Kiri!"
CEMETERY MAN (1994) |
This movie is one of the best Horror Comedies ever, and one of our favorite zombie flicks to boot. It's filled with sex and zombies, and has Anna Falci more naked than she really needed to be. We aren't complaining of course, because it all serves the plot. The sweet, romantic plot.
Even creepy little Gnaghi falls in love with a hot chick's zombie head.
This movie is just filled with love.
HAUTE TENSION (2003) |
Oh, and how odd; it's centered around another bat-shit-crazy woman... see ladies, we told you so. Ha!
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008) |
LTROI is a sweet, shocking coming of age story that will make you believe in the power of Innocent, sexually ambiguous, underage Swedish love.
TEETH (2008) |
I think this is about feminism or something.
HOSPITAL MASSACRE (1981) |
At least Barbie Benton was 80's hot in this one.
So there you have it; 9 awesome flicks that uphold the sacred spirit of Valentine's Day, and really say more about love than your average Hallmark commercial ever could. And don't despair, we've got more Valentine's Day goodies up our proverbial sleeves... or maybe they're up our pant legs. Wink, wink. Heh.
Just stay tuned...
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