February 5, 2012

2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

It's a movie by The Asylum, so it's a given that it isn't good, but in a guilty pleasure sort of way, it was awesome... If you like movies that are so-shitty-that-they-make-you-laugh. And boobs. There were a ton of nice boobs in this one.

A ferocious, size-changing 2-headed shark terrorizes the worst bunch of actors in the world, whom are all apparently on some sort of School field trip. When a different shark gets caught up in their yacht's propellers, they hightail it to a nearby island -sorry, Atoll- which it turns out is sinking and isn't a safe place to hide from a shark. It really doesn't matter. Nothing about anything in this movie makes a lick of sense.

We tweeted a bunch of comments while we were watching this movie last night, so if you want the true skinny, check our Twitter page (@TheHorrorClub) and see for yourselves. It captures the essence of how awful this movie was, as well as how witty and clever we are.

This shark can change size at will, and it does so several times throughout the movie.
Brooke Hogan can not act. At all. None of the cast really could, but she was so bad that we felt bad for her, and we seldom pity the weak. Also, the girl on the left had some nice cans.
Brooke Hogan does have nice boobs though, despite her "far-too-manly" build and voice.
Carmen Electra is still smokin' hot.
We didn't know that flicks by The Asylum had nudity, but this one does. This scene made the movie suck less, for like 2 minutes.
Carmen Electra is hell and gone the best actor out of this entire cast. Yeah, we understand what we just said, and despite it being insane, it's true.
The movie is really a bunch of nonsensical scenes edited together so that they can be played over and over and reused from different angles, as The Asylum often loves to do. Someone even dies on screen before their actual character dies in the movie. Yep. That's the level of poop we're dealing with here. It bears noting that the teacher in this movie is played by Jerry O'Connell's brother, who was even worse in this than Brooke Hogan. We honestly thought his character was like a "special" friend of the cool kids, who they let tag along because he was slow. Turns out, he was the Teacher. Ouch.

We all know that The Asylum makes crap movies that rip off other less-crappy movies, and they are never good in a good way. So bad that they're good? Sometimes. Usually though, they're just so bad that they're bad. This movie is atrocious, and unless you're in the mood to laugh at a bad movie, then skip it. If you like lots of mostly-naked chicks though, you may dig it. It's a guilty pleasure, but a painful one to endure.

More boobs, because that's all that matters as far as this movie goes.


  1. Must watch movie. Must watch movie NOW!

    But seriously, Brooke Hogan and Carmen Electra? This is troubling.

  2. Oh, it's troubling for sure... but so many boobs...