DVD Review: Sorority House Massacre (1986)

With all of the crap horror movies we've been seeing lately, I had to go back to an 80's Slasher for some relief... and with this one, I found very little.

Cast Members of Note- Angela O'Neill, Wendy Martel, and Pamela Ross.

This movie is about a really boring chick that pledges a Sorority which resides in her childhood home, where her brother slaughtered everyone in her family except for her. Of course she doesn't remember any of it, not living there, not the murders, and this amazing premise sets up 40 minutes or so of lame flashbacks/dreams involving mannequins and marbles, and plenty of blank stares from her.

Nice hair, Courtney Cox.

When her brother (who is locked up in an insane asylum) senses her presence in their old house (lol), he starts going ape-shit crazy and escapes. He's determined to rip off Halloween and heads home to kill her, and then promptly stabs the floor. At least we get a female "Dr. Loomis" in this one; she doesn't do much at all, except fail at her job and investigate things from her living room, but hey, she's trying, right?

What is this, method killing?

Anyways, after an impromptu clothes-changing montage, some macho guys show up and everyone starts getting picked off one by one. I won't say what happens next here (because 80's Slashers are always such a rich and rewarding mystery), but suffice it to say that a lot of 80's Slashers kinda sucked.

So you're crawling now too?

Aside from being a blatant rip-off of Halloween, having some weak acting, and boasting one of the lamest killers ever put to film, Sorority House Massacre managed to have a creepy moment here or there. It's a fun movie to watch if you miss the old days, when it seemed like there was a cheesy slasher movie on every corner, or if you like bad hairdo's and horrible fashion.

Sexy college coeds or 40-year-old soccer moms? You decide.

How is it possible to jump from the ground and do a barrel-roll through a second story window? That literally happened in this movie.

Yes, it was a metaphorical kick in the nuts.

I'm not exactly sure why, but the trailer for this movie uses footage from Slumber Party Massacre... Did they run out of money, not care, or were they just confused?

They look as confused as us.

 We definitely get some old fashioned 80's style slasher gore in this one. At least that's something.

How did he even get up there?

This is an 80's Slasher flick, of course we get some boobs and butts!

Looks like more than one tent is getting pitched tonight. Zing!

Roger Corman may have been involved in every movie ever made. Also, it's good that the 80's are over.

"One, two, Freddy's coming for..." Wait, wrong movie.

This movie is a mess from the start; from the rip-off plot, to the lame killer, to the overall suck-ability of everything else... and yet it is marginally fun to watch, from a nostalgic point of view. If it's on TV, watch it. If not, don't bother seeking it out.

D+

Sorority House Massacre is available now on DVD.

Sorority House Massacre may just have "borrowed" elements from A Nightmare on Elm Street too...