August 21, 2008

Review: Wishmaster (1997)

In Attendance- Me, Geo, Machine and Chris.
Cast Members of Note- Robert Englund! Tony Todd! Kane Hodder! The "Whatever happened to her" hotness of Tammy Lauren, and the "Oh, I've seen that guy in lots of movies" ambiguity of Andrew Divoff.

A crazy Genie... err, Djinn... plots his escape from an opal (that looks like a ruby to me), and terrorizes a middle school volleyball coach and everyone in her life, in the process.

Fine, it's an opal... It looks like a ruby to me! I'm confused.
The Djinn tries to trick the V-ball coach into making three wishes, thus releasing him and all of his creepy evil upon the world. First she wishes for some scares, which never show up in the movie. Then she wishes for the Djinn to turn into Scott Baio and make dirty love to her, which he does.

The third wish... well I won't ruin the surprise for you, but it sucks too.

Like he can't see that she's only pretending to smoke?
This could have been WAY worse, and I dare say that it was a welcome movie in a time of fluffy teen-horror retreads. The gore and special effects were the brightest spot here, and overall, you could spend your time watching far worse Horror movies.

Alright, maybe not far worse...
This is definitely B-grade Horror, with all of the standard gimmicks and cliches included.

Robert Englund is better than this.
Somebody thought that this movie needed three sequels.

"No sequels! Please!!!!!!!!!!"
There's all kinds of cheesy gore goodness in this one, cheesy being the key word here.

Ugh... no! Good god I can't find a Horror flick lately that has even one bare ass cheek!

"You big, bald-headed baboon! Miscomplected afterbirth of a Chinese gang-banger! Educated idiot! " or "As you wish."

Don't make a deal with a Djinn unless you're very careful. Also, the 90's was a shitty decade for Horror movies.

"Is... is that your finger?!?"
This one isn't very good, but it isn't exactly completely horrible either. Check it out if it's on cable, it may just grow on you.


Wishmaster is available now on DVD and VOD.

Tammy Lauren was pretty cute and should have been in more movies!

1 comment :

  1. Oops, I missed Wishmaster night. Damn, how ever will I live with myself after this.

    I guess I'll have to repent by doing absolutely nothing and pretending to be apologetic.