August 30, 2008

DVD Review: The Boogeyman (1980)

In Attendance- Me, Eryn, The Vanilla Gorilla and Nick (although he ran off not far into the movie.)
Cast Members of Note- John Carradine (this was not his career high point.)

A little boy that is tired of his mothers incessant whoring around (including tying him to the bed so that she can scrump), stabs her nylon-faced lover to death while she's scrumping him. FYI: his sister only watched him do it, so she's the pure one I guess.

"Ignore my kids and bang me!"
Well, Junior grows up to be a mute creep, strangling his sisters friends and painting mirrors black, but everyone seems to think he's just "quiet." Like any of us would do, the sister returns to her childhood home to face her fears, and break things that don't belong to her in the process; including the mirror which has been in the house since that fateful night, and still contains the ghost of the guy her brother killed.

So, ghosts like to lay around a lot?
Luckily, her moron husband decides to take it home, and the vengeful spirit follows them and starts killing random people... and really, no more needs to be said. I mean, when a shard of glass stuck to a kids foot casts that "sun-filled mirror reflection thing" across and entire lake, thus killing the campers that were "shined upon," I just want things to be over.

Ooh, scary!
This isn't the worst Horror movie ever or anything, but it certainly isn't very good either. There are some decent kills in this one, but the movie as a whole is a big mess. Ulli Lommel isn't much of a director; in fact, he's a bit of an old school Uwe Boll if you ask me, and it shows. I don't have much good to say about this one, so I guess this section is done.

She was pretty cute, so that's a good thing.
This shitty movie somehow spawned two sequels... and I can't imagine that anyone honestly gives a shit.

"Director's Cut" means using footage from part 1 for half of part 2. Ugh.
The retarded little brother screaming "Boogeyman!" every chance he got, was truly annoying. *Special thanks to the window for snapping his neck.

"I'm going to throw you down this fucking well."
This one's got aome decent kill scenes involving scissors-to-throat, a double mouth impaling, pitchfork violence, and a nice scene with a kid stabbing a guy to death.

Scream "Boogeyman!" now, asshole.
Nothing more than a quick flash of boob... although there were some fairly suggestive scenes throughout.

That's right baby, cut it all off!
"Thank god it's fucking over!" Wait, that was me who said that...

Oh, Ulli...
The 70's & 80's took their fair share of cinematic shits, especially in the Horror genre, and Ulli Lommel was responsible for at least half of them (or close enough.)

So that's how it is in their family...
Boogeyman is a cheap, shlocky slasher, that has some pretty good ideas going for it, but is just too cheesy to be very effective. I say you watch it if it's on TV or something, but just don't expect too much from it.


The Boogeyman is available now on DVD and VOD.

So, the star of Boogeyman, the pretty-hot Suzanna Love, was apparently a DuPont heiress who was not only married to director Ulli Lommel, but financed most of his films. Sounds like a pretty good deal for him.

Nice catch, Ulli.

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