VOD Review: They're Watching (2016)

"It at least kept us watching..."

They're Watching is technically a Found Footage flick, but we're also labeling it as a Mockumentary, because it was all about a Reality TV show, so it had aspects of both.

It's also the brainchild of the writers of such video games as Call of Duty: Black Ops II, and of the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants, so right off the bat, we knew that it would at least be something different.

And different it was.

We're probably going to take some crap for liking this one, or maybe just because we didn't hate it, but we've got to vote our feelings, you know?

This is gonna be a quickie. 

The crew of the Reality TV show Home Hunters Global is off to the country of Moldova, to find a new home for Becky; an artist who is tired of the fast pace of LA life, and who just wants to live somewhere that's quaint and rustic. Why she thinks that she's going to find what she's looking for in the ass-crack of Eastern Europe is anyone's guess, but hey, who can ever tell what a hipster artist is thinking anyway?

HIPSTER OR NOT, SHE'S HOT.

The crew -Sarah, Greg, and Alex, along with bitchy boss, Kate- find some help from a charming local guide named Vladimir, and together they set out to capture the the local sights on video, because long shots of the mouth-breathing locals are going to add some great flavor to Becky's story. They also drink and party, because what the hell else is there to do in Moldova?

AT LEAST ONE OF THEM IS HAPPY.

When they interrupt the villagers during a religious ceremony (Satanic rite, for all we know), they quickly begin to feel unwelcome... which is to say that the locals want to kill them because they think that they're witches or something.

Hilarious hi-jinks ensue.

AND DEATH. DEATH ENSUES TOO.

They're Watching reminded us of... and I say this VERY, VERY lightly... What We Do in the Shadows; not because it's anywhere near as funny or clever, but it had that same sort of light, humorous Mockumentary vibe about it. This one was funny, but on a lesser level.

This movie gave us a pretty fun premise, and we liked the characters and their witty banter, but there really wasn't much Horror to be found until near the end. We're not complaining, not really, as the movie entertained us fairly well with its humor, but anyone going into this one expecting it to be a balanced mix of Horror and Comedy might well be disappointed. 

Had the film's producers been able to spend a bit more money on the CGI that rules the last 10 minutes of the movie, it would have been better for it. It's pretty chintzy as is, and it fits in far better with the comedic tone of the first half of the movie, than with the Horror that they were trying to close it out with.

"SO, YOU WILL LET VLAD SHOW YOU MOLDOVA SWEAT BOX, YES?"

There's a bit of blood and gore at the end, but most of the movie is devoid of any such stuff.

THIS IS WHAT MAKES UP MOST OF THE MOVIE.

No nudity here, which is a bummer given how attractive the movie's cast is.

SUCH A QT.

Eastern Europeans hate Americans. And Witches. Especially American Witches.

SHOULDA STAYED IN LA.

Say what you will about They're Watching, because it's certainly not a prefect Horror Comedy by any means, but we enjoyed it. It had a fun vibe about it, the cast handle their comedic roles fairly well, and the finale was pretty cool... if a bit visually underwhelming.

If you dig the trailer, then this movie will probably be a fun rental.

C+

They're Watching is in theaters (Limited), and on VOD now.

Brigid Brannagh and Mia Faith make for one bewitching on-screen duo in this one.