"I'm asking this in all honesty and without snark: Did you watch the movie? Because while you have done a fair review of The Asylum, I would love to hear an honest critique of the film itself... we learn to be better by knowing what works, what doesn't, perhaps even why. Your review provides none of that for the film itself so I find myself genuinely curious to know more than just your reaction to the producer's M.O.. Thanks, I look forward to your thoughts, the good, the bad and the honest! :-) Joe Lawson, Director, Nazis at the Center of the Earth"
He made a pretty great point; our review really was about the Producer's M.O. more than it was about the film itself. So in the interest of fairness, and because he definitely deserves comment on his film, here is an addendum of sorts to our NATCOTE review.
The idea of NATCOTE is an interesting one, and I suppose I didn't go into the plot because with Asylum films, plot tends not to matter much and ends up being totally ridiculous. Asylum movies are about camp and shock for the most part, much like the Troma films of old.
The plot involves group of researchers that discover Hitler's Third Reich hiding under the ice in Antarctica, are captured by the evil Nazi bastards, and forced to treat their various dermatological issues. They have bad skin. The Nazi's also want spare body parts and brains, so really, it's just Mengele doing what he's always done, but this time to usher in a new 1000 year Reich... That's all I got.
|Daniel Craig's Dad as Herr Gandalf.|
While the cheesy CGI is ever present, I will say that the practical FX work was pretty good. A lot of the skinless Nazis and other bloody FX shots were well done. Some of it even recalled horror movies of old. The Nazi's flying saucer (yes, really) looked pretty good too. Cyborg Hitler I can't budge on though. I mean, come on!
|"You're all my Nazi's now!"|
This is probably why I don't review many movies along the lines of what The Asylum or Syfy offers us, because films like that are not my taste and they earn my venom outright. Most of the time, they deserve the venom.
In some cases though, what I see as dismissible would be welcomed with open arms by other horror fans, and so I say nay to movies that might just make those other fans happy. Then again, b-movie fans wouldn't listen to my critique anyhow, as they already know that most cheesy movies are right up their alley.
So, there it is. That was the fair shake. Not my thing, but it is definitely the thing of others, and they should find it pretty enjoyable.
And for the record, this wasn't any sort of retraction or me bending to the whim of an ego-filled director who though his film was better than I made it out to be... on the contrary, Joe Lawson was fine with us liking or hating his movie. He just wanted some honest feedback about it either way, and he was really nice in asking for it, so who in the hell are we to say no to that?
We're waiting for your next movie, Joe. Next time, more boobs please.
|Maybe remake Lolita where she's a vampire, and add in something about karate and the zombie apocalypse... and lesbian stuff.|