Cassadaga (2012)

(aka Geppetto's Revenge!)
Release Date: On DVD now (UK/Sweden), TBA for the rest of us.
Country: USA
Written by: Bruce Wood.
Directed by: Anthony DiBlasi.
Starring: Kelen Coleman, Louise Fletcher, Kevin Alejandro, and Amy LoCicero.

Back in 2010 when we first watched Anthony DiBlasi's directorial debut, Dread, we were blown away; he took that Clive Barker story and turned it into one hell of an effective movie. Speaking of Clive Barker, DiBlasi also produced two more of his stories, Book of Blood and Midnight Meat Train, and did them both great justice. For the record, we loved the hell out of Midnight Meat Train just about as much as we did Dread.

So with that pedigree in mind, we went into his new movie, Cassadaga, with high hopes... and it delivered.

Cassadaga is the story of Lily; a happy-go-lucky, deaf Art Teacher, who loves her little sister (whom she's raised as her own since their parents died) and life in general. She's also really hot and has some great boobage going for her, so she really couldn't ask for much else... and then her little sister gets sent to Heaven by a school bus and everything goes to shit.

"If you close your eyes, you can just imagine how amazing your future is going to be!"

"Just kidding, you're going to die soon LOL!"

In the wake of her sister's murder at the hands of that evil school bus, Lily moves to the small town of Cassadaga for some good old-fashioned spiritual cleansing/healing. I guess part of said healing cleanse involves a seance, because she joins in on one in hopes of contacting her dead sister, but instead finds a pissed-off ghost waiting for her. Yes, the ghost becomes a part of her life from that point on.

Why can't ghosts ever be happy, or maybe even just moderately pleased?

As it turns out, the ghost is on a mission; you see, there's this Serial Killer running around named Geppetto that has been abducting hot chicks and making them into twisted puppets. Like actual puppets. He's a pretty sick twist, that one. So not only has Lily lost her beloved sister and raised the ire of an angry ghost, but now she's poking around in a Serial Killer's business at the behest of said pissy ghost... Nothing about this screams "it's going to end well!" at all, does it?

Date Rape or Puppetry? You decide...

Cassadaga is an interesting movie that offers up plenty of disturbing and creepy elements, which mostly satisfied our discerning tastes. At times it feels fairly dirty and graphic, while at others it's subtly unsettling; it mixes atmospheres well. A lot of credit for this goes to Director DiBlasi, who knows how to present a solid Horror narrative, as well as his crew of actors, who all do their job convincingly well.

It was also nice to see a deaf character that wasn't hindered in some way by her disability. That is to say that it didn't play a central role in the movie and wasn't used as a lame plot device over and over again; she was a girl who happened to be deaf, and that's all. Nice move on the part of the writer focusing on the story and not trying to figure out ways to work her deafness into every scene.

We also really like the way the film wrapped up. No spoilers from us here, but suffice it to say that the end just really worked for us, and even hinted at little something... we need a sequel, please. We said please.

What in the fuck is that!?

With tits like that, why can't Kelen Coleman just show them? Once? For like four seconds? I know she's all fancy now, playing a role on HBO's The Newsroom and what not, but throw us little folk a sexy bone now and then would you?

Prude.

So you've just broken into the house of someone you think may be a perverted Serial Killer with your deaf girlfriend, and you leave her in the middle of your snooping because "oh, I forgot that I have a parent teacher conference right now?" Come on. Plot devices like that cheapen the overall effect of the movie, and this movie was written well enough that such sloppiness shouldn't exist at all within its confines.

We cant believe that shit happened either, babe.

There's all kinds of stabbings, shootings and morbid puppetry to be found here, which should make Gorehounds reasonably happy.

We get a nude model baring it all for the sake of art, and a bunch of big breasted babes jogging around in tight, revealing tank tops, but it's all rather subdued. Still, there was a fair amount of sweaty boob bouncing going on here. We'll take it.

Ironically, the best pumpkins in that patch are not orange at all...

Cassadaga is a solid movie that delivers the Horror goods. It's not without fault, but the story, acting and creep factor it offers us makes its small flaws worth enduring. It's nice addition to Anthony DiBlasi's resume, and we can only hope he keeps up his solid genre work. If you're rocking a Region-Free Blu-ray player, then you can head over to Amazon.UK and grab a copy now. If not, then you should definitely check this one out once it's finally available in your neck of the woods.

B+

This movie has titties to spare. That's not us trying to be crude, that's us being appreciative and awestruck... by the well-endowed actresses of this film. We're very simple minded like that.