September 19, 2008

Solo Review: The Devil's Chair (2008)

Sub-Genre- Supernatural
Cast Members of Note- No one of note really, just a bunch of hot British birds.

A bloke (Nick) and his bird (some slut) decide it's a great idea to go poking around an old abandoned Hospital, and maybe do some drugs and have sex whilst inside. Sure it's a dirty and creepy place, and there may be some transient hobos hiding somewhere inside ready to rape them both, but bollocks to that! We're young and wild, who needs common sense!

That is not a party place.
While wandering around, they end up finding a chair sitting in the middle of the room. Nick sits in it, while low self-esteem girl services him with her mouth. When they switch places so that Nick can give her a lil' somethin' somethin' in return, the chair pretty much kills her. The Police don't believe his crazy story, because no one ever gets murdered by chairs, and so they lock him in the loony bin.

So a chair did that? Right...
Years later, a creepy old guy who is writing a book springs him out of the nuthouse, and drags him back to the scene of the crime with a group of his cronies, to do some "research." At this point, everyone who comes along for the trip wants to sit in the chair, and one by one they all get sucked into Hell, where a creepy cow-headed Demon wants to feed off of their blood.

I won't ruin what happens for you here, but suffice it to say that twist endings usually suck. I mean, for once can we just have a straight up conclusion instead of a twist/shock/jump cut ending?

"Hi, I'm Stanley... Now make with the blood, bitch!"
This one worked for me on a lot of different levels; I loved the grainy look of it all; the blood and gore content was plentiful; the characters, save for one guy, didn't drive me nuts and make me wish them all dead; I thought the use of a running voice-over was pretty effective, and cool to boot... The British are great at voice-over in film; the story was interesting, and had me intrigued; and the visuals were pretty creepy as well...

... and then came the third act and its "twist" ending, which kinda ruined the whole thing for me. Now don't get me wrong, we still have a very cool Horror movie on our hands here, but it just... I can't say much more without spoiling the whole deal, so I'll shut up for now.

I'm just tired of the damn twist endings, that's the main point.

Please hit her with that axe so she stops screaming.
Will people ever cease trying to use abandoned old buildings to get laid in? Geesh.

This one lost it in the third act when it pulled the ole' "twist ending" out of its ass, thereby invalidating the plot as a whole. Can't we just get some straight-forward, explainable shit for a change?

He's a twist of a different kind.
Wall to wall blood! People covered in it, people crawling through it, a haunted chair that extracts it from people, bloody killings, bloody set pieces... this movie is a bloody good time! Yes, that was my obligatory British pun. Let's move on...

Do you know how dirty and full of germs that floor is?
Some simulated oral sex, and that's about it.

Also, there's a simulated "O" Face.
Stay out of abandoned buildings. Also, never make fun of the crazy guy.

Also, maybe rent a motel next time instead of bringing your girlfriend to an abandoned building for a shag.
The Devil's Chair had a lot of A-grade aspects about it, but I just can't get past the twist ending bullshit. Still, this is a really good, bloody, creepy, fun (and sometimes funny) movie, that you should definitely check out when you get the chance.


The Devil's Chair is available now on DVD and VOD.

Elize du Toit is in this...

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