The Best in Horror 2008... So far.

Were a little past mid point in the year, and we as horror fans have been both blessed and cursed thus far; Let's take a look at what 2008 has given us (For better or for worse) and what she still has in store for us in the last few months. I know that a few movies on this list were "Released" in 2007 or even 2006, but listen up; playing a film festival or being released overseas doesn't count. Mandy Lane has been "Out" since 2006, but very few people have really been able to see it. It's still not available in the U.S., even on DVD, but the studio assures us it's release is imminent. Until a movie is available in the States, theatrically or on DVD, they haven't been released. It's kind of like the phrase "Youtube or it didn't happen." So Mandy, Inside, and Teeth, are 2008 releases for the purpose of American snobbery. Let's start with the best. (IMDB the movies you aren't familiar with, and then get your hands on them.) The Good: Inside (DVD premiere April 2008)- This is an instant classic; honestly one of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen, yet beautifully done in an odd way. A tough watch, but a must see. Martyrs- This just hit the festival circuit, and advance word has it making Inside look like a cotton-candy picnic on unicorn lake. I can't describe how badly I need to see this. The DVD should hit before years end. Frontiere(s) (US release May 9 2008)- Another french movie that made me cringe, it wasn't perfect, but it was damn near it in my opinion. A bloody good time, pun intended. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane- This still hasn't gotten a region 1 DVD release, which bothers me. The studio promises it's coming soon, but I recommend buying it on import if you need to. Very well made and pretty effective. Mother of Tears- Welcome back Dario Argento! The third and final installment in the Three Mothers Trilogy (Suspiria and Inferno), it was 27 years in the making, and well worth the wait. Good stuff. The Strangers- Other than a few things that bothered me, I loved this movie. This movie is a creep fest, and I recommend it highly. The Ruins- Don't dismiss this as normal Hollywood crap horror; this movie has the goods. Watch the unrated version. Nasty. Mirrors- Not Aja's best movie (Haute Tension and The Hills Have Eyes), it's still an effective chiller, and I'll nab the DVD when released. Teeth (January 2008 limited)- Fun stuff. This is more black comedy that pure horror, but it does deliver the horrific goods none the less. A vagina with teeth... how can you not want to see this? Midnight Meat Train- The movie that Lionsgate shit on. It's coming to Fearnet in October if you missed it in theaters, so don't pay Lionsgate a cent and watch it for free when it does. Clive Barker rules. The meh... These could have been so much better, but they just missed the mark. How sad. George Romero's Diary of the Dead- It makes me sad to say that Romero didn't quite get it right, as he is one of the best horror directors of all time, but this movie was annoying. It's worth a look, but the characters all deserved to die, and the hand-held camera craze needs to stop. Lost Boys: The Tribe- Not bad, but it was NOWHERE near what it's 1987 predecessor was. Otis- The first half of this movie was brilliant; funny, creepy, intense... Then it absolutely took a crap and lost it down the stretch. That bummed me out. The Signal- Again, started strong, finished for shit. The movie is divided into three "Sections", and the first was pretty damn good. Once it hit the second act and moved into comedy-ish territory, I found myself fast forwarding. Transsiberian- My biggest heartbreak of the year; In 2001 Brad Anderson gave us the absolutely brilliant Session 9, one of the creepiest flicks Ive ever seen. My expectations for this one were huge, and I was wholly let down. It's a gorgeous film, shot well and directed to a T, but the plot was nothing I haven't seen before. Sad indeed. Still worth a look though. Pathology- Meh. Stick to Heroes, Peter Petrelli; you and that crooked mouth of yours. Rogue (April 2008 Limited)- Not too bad, but a killer croc? really? Sigh. The Downright Horrendous!: What a surprise; this list is filled with remakes! The Happening- Watching a Kindergarten class explode, one kid at a time, would be less painful than sitting through this crap-suck mess of a movie... or... watching blind children be mauled to death by puppies, then the puppies explode when everyone is dead. Even better, watching your grandparents have a threesome with a puppy... Ok, I exaggerate a tad, but It's honestly that bad. M. Night seriously needs to stop. Shutter- This movie was as scary as a kitten and puppy napping together. I know, cute right? Slow moving, dull, zero tension, crap acting, not scary in the least, and it had Pacey from Dawson's Creek in it? Fucking Pacey? As Joblo* would say, "C'mon Hollywood!" (*I'm pretty sure Joblo is trademarked, but I just love that site. Go check it out.) Prom Night- Not horrible acting wise or even production wise, the story just sucked and had no tension whatsoever. PG-13 is horror's doom. This should have been a Disney movie of the week. April Fool's Day- Atrocious. I'll say no more. No more needs to be said, that's pretty much why. Ok, I'm done. One Missed Call- What a joke. Can we please stop fucking up good foreign horror with uninspired crap formula remakes please? Has Ed Burns ever been in a good movie? I dare you to watch A Sound of Thunder and not hurt your loved ones afterward... that movie was ATROCIOUS, and this one isn't that much better. Day of the Dead- George Romero should beat the people who made this movie to death. What a waste of Ving Rhames. Nick Cannon... LOL. Worst stereotypical tough black guy ever. The Eye- Hollywood officially hates Asia. I dare you to prove me wrong. *A quick note on remakes- Ok... If there was this guy named Hollywood who lived on your block, and he repeatedly raped everyone he could get his hands on, would someone not shoot him dead? Of course they would, and yet the real Hollywood continues to rape good movies by remaking them, and no one has pulled out the shotgun yet. I'll cover this topic more in depth soon, but I had to vent. TBD... Can any of these films help us close out the year on a high note? Saw V- No. Saw V can't help shit. Neither will Saw VI, VII, VIII or VIIIIIII. They need to stop. Quarantine- I don't know. This is a remake of REC, which was a very good movie, but Hollywood refuses to allow movies to build tension and pace themselves to greatness. We'll see though. Twilight- Yeah... If you're a 14 year old girl or a gay guy, this one will most likely deliver. Haunting of Molly Hartley- The trailer I saw gave me hope that this one will rock. It looks very disturbing, and I'm looking forward to seeing it. Repo:The Genetic Opera- It could very well help... It looks fun and gory, and I'm curious to check it out. Let the Right One In- The buzz on this one so far is great; I love the premise and I'm excited to see where the Swedish take on vampires leads us. There are plenty more movies that could have made these lists; tons of direct to DVD, genre movies that weren't "Truly" horror, movies making the festival circuit, more foreign films... but we wanted to keep it to movies that have been or had a shot at a U.S. release in 2008. The year isn't over yet either, and the lists could well have additions. Stay tuned...