The Hike (2011 UK/2012 DVD)

Another British Backwoods Horror flick, yay!

Why did this movie feel like The Descent, only above ground? A group of British chicks, led by a tough-as-nails ex-commando chick, head into the woods for a girls hike... are those even common? Do groups of hot, high-maintenance chicks really get together and plan a weekend of hiking and sleeping in tents, and think it's a good thing? I don't know if I buy that.

Anywho, so the Hotties head out into the woods, for whatever it is they're heading out there for, and they meet two groups of creepy people; a guy and two girls, who look like a threesome gone wrong; and three sexy rock climbing guys, who seems like a bunch of date-rape just waiting to happen. See, it gets all mysterious and thrilling!

See? Almost Descent-like.

One of the group of strangers are sadistic and murderous, and of course they want to "play" with the five slutty chicks who are dumb enough to be way out in the wilderness alone, and are too stupid to see danger when it's coming. The other group of strangers are just "normal" folk, I guess?

Which are friend and which are foe? Which girls will live and which will die? If they're all out in the middle of the woods fighting for their very lives, then who was phone?

*You won't understand that last question unless your an Internet Geek like us, so don't worry about it. If you do understand it, then, nice one.

Three whores in a meadow...

The Hike is decent enough as a Backwoods Horror/Torture Porn kind of thing. It's got some blood, a little bit of skin, and of course there's a "crazy twist" at the end... maybe that's not fair. It's more of a surprise ending, I suppose.

The movie didn't quite push the boundaries that we thought it might, and it could have used a bit more skin or blood; after all, the draw of this kind of movie is the nastiness/sexiness, not the plot or acting. Still, it managed to be entertaining enough for us not to have regretted watching it.

So...how is there a pool in the middle of the woods?

The Hike is your average, run-of-the-mill Horror flick; not great, but certainly not bad. If you like a good rape-revenge story filled with some sexy chicks and some bloody violence, then you'll most likely get something out of this. It could be way worse.

C-

Any movie with Barbara Nedeljakova is worth a look see in our book.