January 17, 2012

Don't Let Him In (2012)

Don't Let Him In... or have they let him in already? Dun, dun dun!

When Calvin and Paige (a couple that doesn't look to be happy together at all) decides to take a trip to a secluded cottage in the woods, they're dismayed to find that Calvin's slutty little sister Mandy wants to tag along. They hesitantly agree, even when they find out that she wants to bring some dude along who she picked up at the local pup the night before, like the whore that she is.

On arriving at the cabin, they're all warned that a sadistic Serial Killer is prowling the woods, killing and dismembering his victims, and handing their body parts from trees. Thus he's dubbed "The Tree Surgeon."

Okay so, doesn't it stand to reason that if the guy is a tree surgeon, that by definition he'd have to perform some sort of surgery on trees or something? Maybe a sap-ectomy, or a limb transplant? Something? It's all a little misleading to us...

This movie is not as cleaver as it thinks it is.
Anywho, when a mysterious stranger with a suspicious stab wound shows up in the middle of the night, pounding on the cabin door, they let him in (despite the warning in the title of the fucking movie.) Nurse Paige stitches him up and save his life... which begs another question; if she's a Nurse, why would her first instinct not be to get him to a Hospital? At one point when someone says "we need an ambulance!" her expert and professional Medical response is "he's lost too much blood!" For them to call an ambulance. Isn't that exactly why they should call an ambulance? UGH!

No, instead they let the stranger stay with them. Forget the Serial Killer running around killing people and hanging arms from tree branches, that's no reason to leave or anything. Just invite wounded strangers into your lives, because that sounds like a better plan. From here on out it's a race against time (?) to... I don't know, survive until the end of the movie?

Why does this look like a scene from Doctor Who?
This movie could have been alright had it not been so frustrating. Most of the movie is spent with everyone trying to decide if the killer is the injured stranger or the sneaky creep that slutty Mandy allowed to tag along, and none of it really inspires much mystery or tension. None of the characters are particularly likable, they all do moronic things, and they left us feeling indifferent about them and their situation. The story is full of cliches and twists that didn't work. The gore was decent, and the Tree Surgeon was fairly interesting in a way, but just about everything else in this one was bland.

Yeah, us too.
This movie made little to no sense at all. I suppose if you don't care about such things, you know, like something making sense, then the rest of Don't Let Him In might be enough to entertain you. If you skip watching this one though, you won't be missing out on much, we promise you.


At least she's pretty hot, because that helps things a little?

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