January 22, 2012

January Hottie Wrangle

So many movies each month feature so many hotties, that's it's often times hard to pick just one as our Hottie of the Month. I mean, how should we qualify the best of the best? Physical hotness? Talent? Love and dedication to the genre? Being a creepy bitch? Being a super big whore?

All of that and more, if we're being honest. It's never easy.

Let's take a look at the hotness invading January's genre offerings...

Sure, Eva Green's movie Perfect Sense isn't really horror per se, but it is about a viral epidemic, and plus she's got the trifecta of hot going on; eyes, lips and boobies. On the other hand, Ashlynn Yennie is back for another go around in the Human Centipede 2, and besides being cute, she really goes all out on the nasty meter in the movie. Yennie probably wins this coupling.

Sara Paxton is definitely a busy girl when it comes to horror, doing her sweet girl next door routine perfectly. Aimee Teegarden does the sweet and pious thing too, although she does it a little too well. Still, her hotness can not be denied. Both hot, but they need to slut it up a bit. Sara wins this one, clearly.

Maybe the hottest chick this month is one of our genre veterans: Mila is always looking hot, and plus she kicks ass. Then there's Kate Beckinsale, one of the hottest chicks ever, back as death dealer Selene in Underworld Part 12 (or whatever.) There's no human way we can not want to see her in that shiny black body suit again. Gotta go with Kate here. because she's a naughty Brit.

Here we have two relative unknown girls. Sophie Lovell Anderson is starring in the direct to DVD Stag Night of the Dead, which looks shitty, but she's hot enough to sucker us in to watching anyhow. There's really no way that Shriek of the Sasquatch! can be worth renting, but Sarah French (aka Scarlet Salem) is still sassy hot and makes us almost want to...Not sure about this pair yet, so we reserve judgement until we see the flicks.

In closing, we will endure the said-to-be-bad Cold Sweat to see Camila Velasco sweat. Same goes for Spiderhole; we hear tell of that movie sucking, but damn it if Emma Griffiths Malin doesn't make a compelling case for us watching it anyway... Same thing here, we need to see the flicks before we commit.

So you see, it's hard to decide. In the end, maybe it comes down to movies and the girl's performance, but then again we're fairly superficial and can be swayed by hotness and gratuitous nudity.

We'll see who wins by the end of the month.


  1. Another quality post my friend. I'm always coming here for the pictures of hot chicks!

  2. I watched way too much early Firday Night Lights to be able to look at Aimee Teegarden that way. I feel all icky now.

  3. I know KEV. FNL was a really good show, and we do feel creepy about it since we "Watched her grow up", but were depraved. lol

    Um, Erik, I though you came here for the amazing writing, side splitting humor and thoughtful, nearly perfect film critique?

    Also, hot chicks. :)

  4. Loved Kate in the new Underworld!

  5. Are you sure Mila is in The Divide? can't find her name anywhere.

  6. Pollyanna, that was a mistake on our part. Fixed, and thanks!