"Dumber than it needed to be, and better than it had any right to be."
Back in
October,
Freaks of Nature opened quietly in about 100 or so theaters, made around
$100k, and then was gone.
Maybe
Sony saw how funny other, better
Horror Comedies like
Deathgasm,
The Final Girls, and
What We Do in the Shadows were, and decided this one wasn't going to reach the same comedic level, and just didn't bother to promote it. Or do much of anything with it, other than bury it.
That's a shame, really, because even though
Freaks of Nature wasn't perfect, it didn't deserve such shitty treatment by its own
Studio.
The small town of
Dillford is an odd place, where humans coexist peacefully with vampires and zombies. The vampires are at the top of the social pecking order (because they're basically superhuman); the zombies are at the bottom (because they're basically mentally handicapped); and the humans are stuck somewhere in the middle, because they're ordinary in most respects.
I know, it sounds kinda silly, but it's a movie. Let's just accept it and move on.
 |
| YES, ZOMBIES EAT CANNED BRAINS. |
Dag is a
High School kid who is in love with the class whore,
Lorelei... who is sleeping with
Milan, the sexy,
Edward Cullen-like vampire bad boy... who the sweet and naive
Petra is so in love with, that she's willing to become a vampire to be able to stay with him forever... and then there's
Ned, the socially awkward genius who doesn't have anybody. They're all about to have a bad week.
 |
| SOMEHOW, THEY ALL END UP NAKED TOGETHER. |
When an aliens (the space kind, not the kind that
Donald Trump hates) descend upon
Dillford, it's a free-for-all between the vampires, humans, and zombies, as they try to survive the impending
Alien Apocalypse. Of course,
Dag,
Petra, and
Ned are caught in the middle, which provides for all sorts of hi-jinks and hilarity.
 |
| QUICK, PULL OFF HER BRA AND USE IT AS A WEAPON! |
As messy as this movie was in places, we actually found ourselves enjoying it for the most part. It's not side-splittingly funny or anything, but it does have some genuine laughs throughout. It's not overtly gory, but then again, there's no shortage of blood and guts to be had here either. It even has some moments of straight-up romantic teen drama present, but then even that was only sometimes.
I guess it's not a bad movie in general, but it sure is an uneven one that suffers from trying to do too much all at once. A tighter script could have made it something special.
 |
| ALL THAT POTENTIAL... |
Denis Leary did his usual funny thing here, as did
Keegan-Michael Key, but it was
Bob Odenkirk who stole the show, humor-wise. We genuinely laughed our asses off when he said "Why does it have a German accent?!?" The guy has perfect comedic timing.
Vanessa Hudgens played one hell of a sex-bomb, and she provided a really nice visual distraction throughout the movie. We're actually kinda surprised at how decent of an actress she is. We're not at all surprised that
Mackenzie Davis is a good actress, because she's great on
AMC's Halt and Catch Fire, and so it's natural that the
QT was probably the best actor of the bunch in this one.
It was also fun, and genuinely odd as hell, to see famed director
Werner Herzog providing the voice of the alien leader. Where in the hell did that bit of casting come from?
 |
| BLOOD IS DEFINITELY HER COLOR. |
Aside from the tonal inconsistency, and the fact that the movie wasn't as funny as it could have been, the only part of the whole thing that really didn't work for us, at least in a major way, was the zombies. There wasn't much about the zombies that was funny, and some of the undead bits were just painfully un-funny. Had the movie gone a different way with them, like not let them speak or try to act human at all, it probably would have been fine, as they could have played a great straight man to the comedic
Human vs. Vampire antics.
 |
| DID WE MENTION THAT THE VAMPIRES IN THIS MOVIE EXPLODE WHEN STAKED? BECAUSE THEY DO. |
Someday, aliens will arrive on
Earth, and kill us for our fast food. Also,
Denis Leary is awesome, and he really needs to be in more stuff.
 |
| MAN DO WE EVER MISS TOMMY GAVIN. |
Freaks of Nature, which was originally titled
Kitchen Sink, suffers from exactly what that original title implies; there's just too much going on in this one, and it's basically an exercise in underwhelming chaos. Had it been scripted tighter, the humans vs. zombie vs. vampire vs. alien storyline might have worked better than it does here.
As it stands though, if you can excuse its clutter, then you'll probably find
Freaks of Nature about as enjoyable as we did... which is to say, mostly.
C+
Freaks of Nature is available now on
VOD.
Vanessa Hudgens and
Mackenzie Davis make for a perfect pair of sexy vampiresses.
