The Last Witch Hunter wasn't a great movie.
Critics universally panned it; and it only made $27 million domestic on a budget of $90 million, so crowds didn't exactly flock to it either. For us, it was just too clunky to love.
But let's be fair about it too: it wasn't that bad.
Watching this one was a lot like the watching Van Helsing for us; both movies are bland, sanitized, uninspired efforts that have fun air about them, but they offer no depth whatsoever.
We did like The Last Witch Hunter way better though.
|MAGNIFICENT, I TELL YOU.|
|KILL IT WITH FIRE! TWICE.|
Don't look at us, we don't write this shit.
|NOTHING MEDIOCRE ABOUT HER THOUGH.|
We really liked the premise, the cast, and watching Vin Diesel swing a flaming sword around. We also really loved the beginning of the movie which was set in medieval times far more than we did the modern-day setting that most of the movie took place in. They should have given us more of the medieval stuff, and Vin should have kept the beard throughout more of this one. It looked bad-ass.
|THE FAUX-HAWK CAN STAY TOO.|
And having to watch the great Michael Caine utter a line like "Look at you, you ugly bitch of a morning" was just painful. He deserves way better.
The CGI was overabundant and bad at times, and the movie definitely could have benefited from the less-is-more motto in that department. I guess the PG-13 rating held the violence, action, and blood back, which is a shame; had they leaned more on practical FX, and pushed the envelope a bit more, the end result may have been better.
|"ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO CRITICISE, ASSHOLE?"|
They really should have centered the story around Rose Leslie's character, and had Vin Diesel's Witch Hunter play the periphery, much like Max did for Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road. Like she should have been sucked back in time to the Middle Ages via some sort of witchery gone wrong, where Vin Diesel had to protect her against hordes of Witches or something. That would have been cool.
Rose Leslie is a talented actress, and she was probably the most likable character in this one. We like Vin Diesel a lot too, but he just doesn't have the range to carry a movie like this by himself. It was cool to watch him kick ass though.
|THE LOVE SCENE.|
I wouldn't but in on Blu-ray, but I'd definitely come over to your house and watch it if you did.
The Last Witch Hunter is available now on VOD, and hits Blu-ray & DVD on 2/2.
Rose Leslie's spell ever since we first saw her on Game of Thrones, and we're fine with that.