When Calvin and Paige, a couple that doesn't look to be happy together at all, decides to take a trip to a secluded cottage in the woods, they're dismayed to find that Calvin's slutty little sister Mandy wants to tag along. They hesitantly agree, even when they find out that she wants to bring some dude along who she picked up at the local pup the night before, and promptly shagged.
On arriving at the cabin, they're all warned that a sadistic serial killer is prowling the woods, killing and dismembering their victims, and handing their body parts from trees. thus he's dubbed "The Tree Surgeon."
Okay so, doesn't it stand to reason that if the guy is a tree surgeon, that he'd by definition have to perform some sort of surgery on trees or something? Maybe a sap-ectomy, or a limb transplant? Something? It's all a little misleading to us...
|This movie is not as cleaver as it thinks it is.|
Anywho, when a mysterious stranger with a suspicious stab wound shows up in the middle of the night, they let him in (despite the warning in the title), and nurse Paige stitches him up and save his life... which begs another question; if she's a nurse, why would her first instinct not be to get him to a hospital? At one point when someone says "We need an ambulance!" her expert medical response is "He's lost too much blood!" For them to call an ambulance. Isn't that exactly why they should call an ambulance? UGH!
No, instead they let the stranger stay with them. Forget the serial killer running around killing people and hanging arms from tree branches, that's no reason to leave or anything. Just invite wounded strangers inside, that sounds like a better plan. From here on out it's a race against time (?) to... I don't know, survive until the end of the movie?
|Why does this look like a scene from Doctor Who?|
This movie could have been alright had it not been so frustrating. Most of the movie is spent with everyone trying to decide if the killer is the injured stranger or the sneaky creep that slutty Mandy allowed to tag along, and it really doesn't inspire much mystery or tension. None of the characters are particularly likable, they all do moronic things, and they left us flat. The story is full of cliches and twists that didn't work. The gore was decent, and the Tree Surgeon was fairly interesting, but everything else built around those aspects was just bland.
|Yeah, us too.|
Final Thoughts- At least she's pretty hot, that helps things a little...