April 20, 2009

Sorority House Massacre (1986)

With all of the crap horror movies I've been seeing lately, I had to go back to an 80's Slasher for some relief... I found very little.

Sorority House Massacre  
Sub-Genre- Slasher  
In Attendance- Me   
Cast Members of Note- Angela O'Neill, Wendy Martel, and Pamela Ross 
What's it about?- A really boring chick is pledging a Sorority that lives in her childhood home; of course she doesn't remember this, nor does she remember that her brother slaughtered everyone in her family except for her in the very same house. This amazing premise sets up 40 minutes or so of lame flashbacks/dreams involving mannequins and marbles, and plenty of blank stares from her.  

Nice hair, Courtney Cox.
When her brother (who is locked up in an insane asylum) senses her presence in their old house (lol), he starts going ape-shit crazy and escapes. He's determined to rip off Halloween and head home to kill her, and stab the floor. At least we get a female "Dr. Loomis" in this one; she doesn't do much at all, except fail at her job and investigate things from her living room, but hey, she's trying, right?

What is this, method killing?
Anyways, after an impromptu clothes changing montage, some guys show up and everyone starts getting picked off one by one. I won't say what happens next (because 80's slashers are always such a rick and rewarding mystery), but suffice it to say that the 80's kinda sucked.

The Good- Aside from being a blatant rip-off of Halloween, having some weak acting, and boasting one of the lamest killers ever put to film, it managed to have a creepy moment here or there. It's a fun movie to watch if you miss the old days, when it seemed like there was a cheesy slasher movie on every corner, or if you like bad hairdo's and horrible fashion.  

Other than that it pretty much sucked. 
The Bad- How is it possible to jump from the ground, and do a barrel-roll through a second story window? That literally happened in this movie. 

The Downright Horrendous- I'm not exactly sure why , but the trailer for this movie uses footage from Slumber Party Massacre... Did they run out of money, not care, or were they just confused?
 
The Gory- We definitely get some old fashioned 80's style slasher gore in this one. At least that's something.

How did he even get up there?
The Naked- This is an 80's slasher flick, of course we get some boobs and butts!

Best Line- "That's him, that's the guy from my dream!"

What did we learn?- Roger Corman may have been involved in every movie ever made. Also, it's good that the 80's are over.

D+ (4.5/10) This movie is a mess from the start; from the rip-off plot, to the lame killer, to the overall suck-ability of everything else... and yet it is marginally fun from a nostalgia point of view. If it's on TV, watch it. If not, don't bother seeking it out.     

It kinda ripped off A Nightmare on Elm Street too.  
  

3 comments :

  1. I positively hate this film. Find nothing redeeming in it whatsoever. One time, I watched it, and yeah, I barfed a little.

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  2. Before anyone gets too harsh here... just wait until you see part two. It makes this one look like a masterpiece.

    Great picture of the girls getting dressed up as... The Golden Girls?

    The best of these movies begin with "Slumber Party" for sure.

    JM

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  3. I completely agree with your review, but I also agree with JM about the second one.

    I was expecting quite a bit more from this alleged "classic," but I was pretty bored and had that, "really?" face pasted on the whole time.

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