Cast Members of Note- Ron Jeremy, Ron Jeremy's penis, Amber Benson, Charles Napier and Veronica Hart.
Ron Jeremy's dick has been terrorizing the Porn world for over four decades now, and finally we have proof that it can kill. The crew of a porn shoot heads into the deep woods to make their movie called "Animatronic Donkey Blues." They're full of energy and ready to tap little Johnny behind the ear all weekend.
|The face of a sex murderer!|
|He's got "the glow," just like Taimak did in The Last Dragon!|
|This is a trap, not the trap I was cleverly referring to above.|
I've also got to take a minute to talk about Ron Jeremy: He can't act for shit, but he has a really endearing human quality about him that really makes me like him. The MEGA-HUGE porn icon has wanted to be successful in legitimate film for a long time, but he just doesn't have the chops. Still, movies like this make me cheer for him, and his dream.
|Until that day Ron, here are Amber Benson's panties. Not a bad trade-off.|
|That's deep, man...|
|Yes, Ron, you're a whore.|
|That certainly should count as gore...|
|Guess which one we get to see naked?|
- "With the added weight and the back pains, all I can do is kiss the tip."
- "We're gonna need a bigger tampon."
- "I know you dug him, but that's his dick out there, and it's a mass-murderer!"
- "Wanna know what hell sounds like? I think it sounds like 30 men getting massacred by a dick!"
- Director: "Ok Ron, take off your sweater." RJ: "I'm not wearing a sweater."
This movie was funny as hell.
|Veronica Hart, a true Hall of Famer.|
|Look at her pretending she can read. How sweet.|
One-Eyed Monster is available now on DVD and VOD.
Amber Benson really neds to be in more movies.