VOD Review: Leprechaun: Origins (2014)

I have to imagine that the only reason this movie exists is that the WWE Studios "brain trust" were sitting around one day, trying to figure out what kind of new, cheesy B-movie they could make a buck with, when somebody said "Hey, we've got a midget on the payroll, let's remake Leprechaun!"

Great idea, but too bad they didn't give Hornswoggle a cute little outfit and have him run around saying cheesy one-liners as he killed people though, because then maybe this sorry movie would have at least been somewhat watchable. 

Now, I've never been a big fan of the Leprechaun movies. They were campy fun for what they were, but by the time the series got to the point where the title Leprechaun was followed by such subtitles as "In Space" or "Back 2 Tha Hood," I was fine with never watching any of them ever again. I mean, how high does someone have to be to actually want to see the Leprechaun get all pissed off at Mack Daddy O'Nassas because he stole his hit record-making magical flute?

There's not enough drugs in the world.

Still, at least the Leprechaun flicks of old, for better or worse, were played for silly laughs, and never fancied themselves to be genuine quality Horror flicks.

So along comes WWE Studios with what they claim to be a "prequel" to the original franchise, even though it clearly is not; yes, the poster says "A Horror Icon is Reborn," but this movie contains no Horror Icon whatsoever, nor does it connect IN ANY WAY with the original franchise, and so that phrase is a lie, plain and simple.

What we do get with Origins, is a grunting, rubber-suited mongoloid that we're supposed to believe will somehow evolve into the wise-cracking, humanoid creature that Warwick Davis made so famous back in 1993. At least in some form or another.

Sadly, we got nothing of the sort.

The movie opens with a couple running for their lives from what we presume is WWE Wrestler Hornswoggle in a rubber suit. Since they're running through some tall grass, we can't actually see what's chasing them, but we sure do know it's scary. Why we can't see Hornswoggle dragging both of them to their deaths, even though the grass isn't really all that tall, we have no idea.

I know this is a WWE film, but  come on, man.

Soon thereafter, we get a group of four young American tourists who are looking to discover the wonders of Ireland, when it's suggested to them by some locals in a tavern that there's a special place for them to see... none of that really matters though. Point is, the locals are up to no good and they lock the kids in a house, so as to make some sort of sacrifice for Hornswoggle.

Oh, just drink it.

When Hornswoggle shows up in the middle of the night, looking for blood, he chases the kids around, claws at them, and chases them around some more. Luckily they find an ancient book in a basement that explains the plot to them, and lets them know that the WWE personality chasing after them is supposed to be a Leprechaun. Then there's some more running, more clawing, some growling, and an ending that made us want to suplex our TV.

"Wharrgarbl!"

There's not much good here to report, I'm afraid. The movie has some solid production values going on, as most WWE products do, but it's a lame, uninspired, and boring effort for the most part. Too bad that the screenwriter (Harris Wilkinson) sold Lionsgate on his "darker pitch," because they originally wanted it to be a more humorous effort in the vein of the original series.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict that he won't be selling them on his pitch for a sequel.

There's no story here, no build up, we don't have any reason to like any of the characters... everything just kind of happens, and in an unremarkable fashion.

"Who wrote this shite?"

The big mistake they made with this one is that it's just not fun like the old Leprechaun movies were. If anyone should know how to make goofy shit palatable to an audience, it's the WWE, so we're not sure why they decided to go the "serious" route with this movie.

Had they made the script fun, and made Hornswoggle actually play an evil Leprechaun with some sort of personality, it could have at least been a so-bad-it's-good type of effort like Sharknado, or any other SYFY original movie. As cheesy and silly as the old Leprechaun flicks were, they were at least in on the joke, you know?

She's looking for a better script.

Here are some questions that we have about Leprechaun: Origins:

• Why do we only get to see quick glimpses of the Leprechaun?
• When we did actually get to see it, why did the Leprechaun look like an angry raisin with teeth?
• Could they not have designed a better costume for Hornswoggle to wear? 
• Why did the Leprechaun have "gold" heat vision? 
• Why were the end credits 12 minutes long?
• What was with that ending? If a petite, young girl can kill the Leprechaun with a machete, why are the villagers so afraid of it? They have shotguns.
• Did they actually think that the "fuck you lucky charms" line really fit anywhere in this movie?
• What was the point of the gold? It popped up at the beginning and the end, and served absolutely no purpose.
• Why do so many Horror movies these days have to include a scene where someone gets dragged away by something that is unseen? Do filmmakers understand what sort of logistics they're implying with something like that?
• What exactly is this movie a reboot of?
• What just happened?

Please just hit each other, and let's be done with this.

The WWE should stop making movies if this is the best that they can do.

Odd, we had the same looks on our faces during this one.

If you really wanna see this one, then there's certainly nothing that we can do to stop you, but just ask yourself why you would want to waste 78 minutes of your life on something that isn't even laughably bad.

This is the first Do Not Want grade that we've handed out in a while (mainly because we've been trying to avoid movies that we know we'd flat out have to bash), but this one is absolutely too well deserved to skip over.

Leprechaun: Origins is easily the top contender for Worst Movie of 2014 so far, and we honestly hope that we don't have to endure another movie as horrid as this one anytime soon.

At least WWE Studios knows how to cast good looking girls in their movies. At least there's that.