October 9, 2010

DVD Review: Piranha 3D (2010)

"After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area's new razor-toothed residents."

This movie was more fun than a barrel of... well, piranha? Turn your brain off, sit back and let the 80's vibe of this movie carry you away. Alexandre Aja does an amazing job of making a modern day old school Horror flick; plenty of boobs, butts, sex, dumb teenagers, cheesy action and dialogue, and most importantly, BUCKETS o' BLOOD!

And boobs of blood.
This may be the most graphic mainstream American Horror flick that I've seen in I can't remember how long. The MPAA let a ton of visceral gore slide while rating this, which makes me wonder what Aja actually had to cut to get an R-rating... I mean this movie has not only some crazy kill scenes and graphic FX, but a copious amount of blood. If you like the messy stuff, you will enjoy the hell out of this movie.

The story itself is cliche and a bit unrealistic, but that's what Aja wanted; It's really an homage to 80's Horror flicks, and most of them were hardly original, and barely made sense. Piranha doesn't need to make sense though. It needs to be fun, and it is; a lot of mindless, drinking-beer-with-a-room-full-of-buddies, "man did you see that!?" kind of fun.

Did you see that?!?
And the cast is awesome too. Even though he dies in the first scene of the damned movie, Richard Dreyfuss shows up to play a part! How awesome is that? Elisabeth Shue is the MILF-tastic main Hottie, and I've loved her ever since Adventures in Babysitting. Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O'Connell, Adam Scott (you'll know his face, he's in lots of cool stuff), and even Eli Roth makes a cameo. You can actually see them all playing their roles for fun, and having a good time with it all.

Ving don't play.
And let's not forget the chicks; because this movie is packed with them, they're all hot and shameless, and there's almost as much skin in this flick as there is blood... and that's saying a lot. In addition to the still sexy Elisabeth Shue, the SMOKING HOT Kelly Brook plays the main slut, Riley Steele plays the 2nd fiddle slut, Jessica Szohr plays the innocent local girl wanting to turn into a wild slut, and long time Hottie Dina Meyer plays a scientist (that last one must have sounded anticlimactic.) Let us also not forget the dozens, and possibly hundreds of scantily clad party whores that were just used for scenery and extra flavor in this movie. This movie was a cornucopia of dirty whores.

This movie is just a blatantly graphic, overtly-bloody, scantily-clad good time. I guess you could analyze its weaknesses or flaws if you felt the need, but then you'd be missing the point. It's supposed to have those, as it's an homage to the movies of a yesteryear that had PLENTY of the same flaws themselves, but that we still somehow hold dear to out Horror-loving hearts. You may be able to still catch this at the dollar show (here in the U.S.), and it's still in Theaters all around the world, so check it out and have some cheesy fun.


This is 2D review of the movie, as we here at THC are boycotting all things 3D in Horror. Well, not officially, but it has to end, and we are not supporting it! There, take that, annoying visual trend.


This movie was nothing if not filled with beautiful women. Check out their Horror Hotties post HERE.

That's 21/100 movies watched so far, so we had better get back to it... now where is that toothless kitten...

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