VOD Review: Pet (2016)

"Why not just get yourself a dog?"

It's going to be difficult to discuss this movie, and the things that we loved about it, without spoiling the big twist that gave the movie its juice.

Saying that always feels like a cop-out to me, because some people read reviews to hear the spoiler-y in-depth thoughts of guys like me, but then again spoilers suck, and sometimes, whether we like to read them or not, a movie just plays better without knowing them.

Pet is just one of those movies that I think deserves to be seen as out of the loop as possible.

Seth is an awkward loner who works at animal shelter, because he relates better to dogs than he does people. When he runs into his high school crush, Holly, on a bus, she doesn't remember him because hot chicks don't usually remember awkward geeks that walked past them in the hallway 10 years ago. This prompts him to do what any awkward loner whose crush won't give him the time of day would do in his shoes: he stalks her on the Internet and sends her flowers.

AND STALKS HER AT WORK.

Holly lives with her BFF Claire, and has an on again/off again relationship with some douchebag bartender, so she has no room in her life for a geeky creeper. This doesn't make Seth happy at all, so he decides to kidnap her and put her in a cage in the dark recesses of the animal shelter's basement, so that he can "Help" her. Now, when a creepy dude locks a hot chick up in a cage, you might assume that such "Help" is going to involve a gimp mask, three cans of Crisco, and a half-starved cat with distemper, but no, he actually wants to help her... because the girl has got some issues of her own.

And that's all we're saying.

YEAH, SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S IN DIRE NEED OF HELP.

A lot of critics have not been kind to Pet, calling it disappointing, disjointed, and even misogynistic. All of that is a bunch of bullshit, especially that last part, because the word misogynistic gets thrown around way too much these days. As it pertains to this movie, I'd argue that given the strength of the female lead, the content within is anything but misogynistic. First off, a crazy dude kidnapping a girl and locking her in a cage isn't misogynistic, it's crazy. Furthermore, when the girl in question is smart, cunning, and... well, a bit crazy herself, she's anything but a helpless victim.

I don't know. You watch the movie, then tell me if I'm crazy or not.

This movie is a twisted ride that doesn't really offer much in the way of sympathetic characters, not truly, although at times our feelings did get a bit confused. Dominic Monaghan and his leading lady, the gorgeous Ksenia Solo, had some gritty work (both physically and psychologically) to do in this one, and they handled it perfectly.

Anyone who watched the TV show Lost Girl already knows who Ksenia Solo is. I have never watched that show, but her performance here as the crazy bitch in a cage has made me realize that I need to, because the girl can act. She plays subtly dangerous very well, and for me, she is what made this movie work as well as it does.

And Dominic Monaghan is world famous for his role in the Lord of the Rings flicks and LOST, which honestly, is enough acting credit to buy him everlasting goodwill from me. The dude is also and animal fanatic, and he tends to be good in whatever he does, and it's nice to see him play a "bad guy" in this one. He does dark and creepy very well.

The one issue that we had with the movie was that the twist, which we really dug, was revealed way too early on. I really want to elaborate, but I'd hate to spoil the table-turning in this one.

YEAH. TIME TO RUN.

Once the movie gets going, there's plenty of gruesome and uncomfortable material to endure, including a murder scene which was truly nasty. Dogs will eat anything!

A MOVIE FILLED WITH WET, RED DELIGHTS. THAT'S WHAT THIS IS.

No nudity here, which given the subject  matter, is probably a good thing.

SIGH.

"Seth's got a little crush." Perfect line delivery.

DIDN'T REALLY THINK THIS ONE THROUGH, DID YA?

Damn the naysayers, this little pet project of Dominic Monaghan's is a gem, even if it isn't quite perfect. It's bloody, twisted, and disturbing on more than one level, which at the end of the day, is really all we ask of a movie about a rapey creep keeping a hot chick locked in a cage.

Rent it now, and enjoy the carnage.

B+

Pet is available now on VOD and DVD.

Ksenia Solo may be the sexiest Latvian-Canadian actress of all-time. Then again, she may be the only Latvian-Canadian actress, so...