July 14, 2015

The Babysitters of Horror!

In the 80's & 90's, it seemed like evil babysitters & babysitters in peril were all the rage in the Horror Genre, and we can pretty much thank John Carpenter's Halloween for that. Not that we're complaining. Mostly.

They did their best to watch the kids, but in the end, they were just to sexy to survive... or maybe they were just too stupid. Probably both. Then again, a lot of them did survive... I don't know. Let's not make this any more complicated than it needs to be.

These are The Babysitters of Horror!

*Click the pics to add to your movie collections!

LAURIE STRODE (HALLOWEEN)
The queen of all Horror movie babysitters, Laurie Strode was not only virginal and adorable, but she was the first one to ever kill Michael Myers (he came back to life like 19 times or something.) She did battle with The Shape 4 times over the years (6, if you count the two remakes), and she came out on top each time.

That's bad-ass.

JILL JOHNSON (WHEN A STRANGER CALLS)
Probably the 2nd most famous Horror movie babysitter, we really liked Jill despite the fact that she was maybe the worst babysitter ever; I mean, she never even checked on the children. Not even once.

That's probably a good thing for her though, because if she had, she would have been dead. Still, that's being a pretty shitty babysitter in our book.

LISA (THE AMITYVILLE HORROR)
Why the Amityville remake didn't have a scene where Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George got the slutty babysitter drunk and tried to lure her into a threesome is beyond us, because she would have totally said yes. I mean, she tried making out with the kid she was babysitting, and he was only like 12.

What a tragic waste of such a sinful, special girl.

ANN (THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY)
We're not really sure what in the hell Ann was supposed to be, because she just kind of showed up and was like "I'm the babysitter" and the family was all like "Oh, alright. Feel free to move in." Was this whole babysitter thing pre-arranged, or were they just happy to have a stranger show up at random who was willing to look out for their creepy-ass son, Bob?

It's a Fulci flick, so we should know better than to ask questions. Shame on us.

TABITHA (AMUSEMENT)
Alright, so Tabitha is more like a replacement babysitter in this one, but she does battle with a killer clown doll, and she's as hot as the sun, so why get bogged down in details? At least she kept the kids alive.

The bottom line is that Katheryn Winnick can babysit us anytime.

SARAH (ALL HALLOWS' EVE)
Sure she's adorable, but much like Jill from When a Stranger Calls, Sarah is a pretty shitty babysitter. Would you let young kids who were in your charge watch a video tape that was slipped into their bags while they were Trick-or-Treating? No, and neither would anyone else with half a brain.

She really was adorable though, so we forgive her.

SAMANTHA (THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL)
When the creepy dude from Manhunter asks sexy little Samantha to babysit some old crone in a spooky house during a solar eclipse, she should have said no, because nothing good can come of that. Nothing.

Samantha was a total QT, but she didn't have a lick of common sense. Poor thing.

ANGIE ALBRIGHT (BABYSITTER WANTED)
Another babysitter who got suckered into taking a job way out in the remote, dark, evil country, Angie had no idea that she was to be a sacrifice for some evil Demon. My question is, why do they never target the ugly babysitters? It's always the QT's that everyone tries to kill, which is clearly an example of Cuteism!

ANNA VEIGH (IN A DARK PLACE)
We're really not sure what was going on in this movie, but we do know that Leelee Sobieski ran around half naked in it, and also had some lesbian sex, so to us, she may be the best nanny ever. *Not counting Mary Poppins, of course.

JENNIFER (THE BABYSITTER)
Nobody played evil jail-bait in the 90's better than Alicia Silverstone did,and we're not ashamed to admit that she would have easily lured us into her tangled webs, and murdered us at her will; we were younger then, and had even less common sense than we do now. Hard to imagine, I know.

Here are a few more Horror movie babysitters & nannies for you that were hot, even if they weren't all completely sane.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080407/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099710/?ref_=nv_sr_3
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104389/?ref_=nv_sr_1
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3725284/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_8
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0961088/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108556/?ref_=nv_sr_4

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