November 6, 2011

Quick Review: The River Murders (2011)
I'm not sure what Ray Liotta is doing with his career lately, but this movie is the sort of thing that shouldn't even be on his radar. Field of Dreams, Goodfellas, Unlawful Entry, No Escape, Copland, Narc... the guy has been pretty amazing in some excellent movies, and now he's not only in this shitty movie, but but he really sucked in his role.

The River Murders is another story about a Cop trying to solve some murders and bring a Serial Killer to justice, so nothing really new here plot-wise, which is fine. This is definitely one of our favorite sub-genres, so we're fine giving some slack to movies of this kind, because while some of them may suck, they still have their redeeming qualities.

Nothing is very redeeming here though. It was flaccid.

The most exciting scene in the movie.
This movie is not only dull and messy, but it contains some of the worst acting we've seen all year long. Sorry Ray, we really do love you, but this one was a swing and a miss for you. Everything about his role and performance was just off here. And Gisele Fraga... well she was just downright painful to watch. Not trying to be mean here, but it was tough to stomach her Broken-English overacting. And while we're at it, what's up with Ving Rhames? That man is Marcellus Wallace for Christ's sake, and he can't get better roles than this? Shame on you, Hollywood casting directors.

If anything about this movie was redeemable at all, it was Christian Slater; it was kinda fun watching him play a complete asshole. Aside from that though...

We know, Ving. We know.
 Just... just pass this one by, and you'll be better off for doing so. Trust us.

Such emotion.
They're in this.

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