October 11, 2010

Day 10- Sunday, October 10th


#22- Donkey Punch (2008)- (FULL REVIEW HERE)

Don't blame me for adding this to the marathon, because it was Erin who felt the urge to pop it in and see what it was all about. If you don't feel like clicking above and reading the whole review, the movie is basically about a bunch of British douche-bags that meet a gaggle of British sluts, go out of a boat, do some ecstasy and meth, have an orgy, and then all turn against each other after the fabled Donkey Punch goes wrong and snaps one of the sluts necks. The characters are all morons and shitty human beings and deserve what's coming to them, but I have to admit that Jaime Winstone and her slut pals are very nice to watch party. The flare gun scene is pretty awesome too, in its own right. Other than that... meh.
 #23- Altitude (2010) 

"After a mysterious malfunction sends their small plane climbing out of control, a rookie pilot and her four teenage friends find themselves trapped in a deadly showdown with a supernatural force." This movie has me confounded. On one hand, there were aspects of it that were enjoyable and worked as a tense Horror Thriller. On the other, there were some aspects of it that made me roll my eyes and left me feeling cheated. The whole "being trapped in a malfunctioning plane with nowhere to go" thing was pretty tense, and made for some good scenes. The whole Sky Octopus/Cthulhu thing was pretty cool too. The movie definitely had a Lovecraftian vibe going on at times, and that is always a good thing. And it goes without saying that Julianna Guill and Jessica Lowndes are crazy hot and always a plus to be able to gaze at for 80 minutes or so. Especially Julianna and her world-class breasteses. We don't get to see them in this movie, but we know they're there. We know they're there.

If anything took away from the movie, it was the characters and convenient plot devices. First off, most of the characters were either douche-baggy or annoying, which made them hard to like. Worse still, to see these characters making dumb decisions and acting in some really moronic ways just served to make you dislike them more, and care about the movie less. That's not to say that it wasn't a decent movie for the most part, because it was fairly fun. If you can swallow the crazy "twist" and the hokey ending, then you may just like it. If not, then you will throw your remote control in disgust, and curse all airplane vs. sky octopus movies for eternity.

Altitude is definitely a middle of the road adventure for us. It was fun while being annoying at times, and we're not sure we quite love the direction it took at the end. Still, methinks a lot of you might have fun watching it. Then again, what do me know anyway?

 C

#24- Night of the Comet (1984)

"A comet wipes out most of life on Earth, leaving two Valley Girls to fight the evil types who survive." Aaah, what classic 80's horror schlock this is! A passing comet turns everyone who laid eyes on it to piles of red dust, and somehow created a bunch of crazy mutant zombies roaming the streets as well. This leaves our two Valley Girl heroines having to fight for survival in the "forbidden zone", as well as shop all they want to, because, like, no one is left to stop them and stuff. Excellent. Also, rad. Or maybe it's tubular. I loved this one as a kid, and though I see it as more of a campy classic these days, I swear it used to scare the hell out of me. It doesn't matter. This is a fun slice of 80's nostalgia that is definitely worth a watch.

That's 24/100 movies watched so far, but we had better get back to it... we're getting there, don't worry!

2 comments :

  1. You were too generous on Altitude than me. I thought it was awful. The most annoying annoyers i have witnessed for a while with their Tw*l*ght haircuts. First, who the hell is gonna take a few tinnies of beer on a small plane without a bog. I dunno about you but when i've had a few my bladders on the go about every 20 minutes. And tins too. Dude, at least bring a big plastic bottle to piss in.
    The least annoying (but still) was the first to die, didn't care for them after that. Stupid bint filming everything on her camera in life or death situations when an extra pair of hands would be more useful.

    The cloud they flew into resembled one of those planet killers of Babylon 5, and the monster pulling the main bird out of the plane (hopefully for her atrocious acting). How the fuck did she manage to hold on. The flying octopus was massive, but it was defeated in the end with the classic slow motion "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Always a good move that, but not in this film. Don't forget the disturbed twisted love obsession. ARGH!

    I was hoping for some kind of suspense like Frozen (well a little) off being trapped in a small plane, well.....no suspense here.

    I could think of more but like damaged goods Bruce, i'm off work with depression so i should just take my pill and see what's next on my list of movie therapy for tonight..... "Welcome To Dongmakgol". Watched R-Point last night. Enjoyed that. Nice ghost story with creepy moments. Better than the sack of shit which was Altitude.

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  2. I want to see altitude but Im pretty skeptical about it,worth a rent I guess?

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