Release Date: In Theaters now.
Written by: Evan Daugherty.
Directed by: Rupert Sanders.
Starring: Charlize Theron, Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins and Ray Winstone.
Not as bad as you'd think, but not as perfect as you'd hope, Snow White and the Huntsman is a pretty entertaining little Dark Fantasy flick.
For the Record, this is not a movie that even remotely resembles Twilight (as some had feared), so if you have that misconception in your mind, get rid of it.
|Not warm and fuzzy.|
This movie doesn't have some clueless young girl skipping through the forest and whistling to birds. Instead we get a menacing and rather insanely evil Queen Ravenna trying to kill Snow White, so that she can suck her soul through her mouth and remain forever beautiful. The fairest of them all, even. Snow White is no easy victim here though; she's kind of portrayed as a tough, Joan of Arc type of character, who is willing to fight for the greater good. Also, she probably wants to keep her soul.
|She ain't scared of no troll.|
Thor shows up and runs around trying to keep Snow White alive, all the while drinking ale and brooding over his lost love. Of course there are also Dwarves, though their group love scene with Snow White was conspicuously absent from the finished film. Divine Stag's, trolls, and turtles alike; all of them seem to love Snow White. Everyone that is except Evil Queen Ravenna and her creepy brother... and a mysterious Archer that could just be The Avenger's Hawkeye in disguise... or maybe Legolas.
|"...and my axe!"|
So while Queen Ravenna takes nougat baths and mouth sucks pretty girls to death, sweet and innocent Snow White fights for her life in dark and murky swamps, trying to make sense of it all. Make sense of what, we aren't completely sure, but it was fun to watch her do it. Make sense of stuff, that is.
|I'm just going to assume that this is some sort of milky nougat bath... which sounds dirty enough without me even alluding to it being sperm.|
Visually, this movie is stunning. It's been a while since a Fantasy movie has created such a captivating world full of equal amounts of beauty and blight, but Snow White does this almost impeccably. From living-liquid mirror men to massive trolls, this movie does not spare on the visual splendor. The world on display here is definitely immersive, to say the least.
|We want a movie starring just the liquid gold dude. Seriously, we'd pay to see that.|
If there's anything else here that's as good as the visuals, it's definitely Charlize Theron's Dark Queen Ravenna. She's a bit over the top and over stated, but that's the point; the woman is insane, and Theron captures that essence perfectly. It really was fun to watch her chew the scenery around her, and she's one of the better screen villains in recent memory.
The rest of the cast brings it too, mostly, and especially Hemsworth. That guy just can not miss, can he?
|This thing killed 41 people in this movie. Maybe 42.|
|Come on, she's either not all there or she's high.|
Just imagine a Breakfast Club remake with Channing Tatum, Kristen Stewart, and a few other young acting train-wrecks like Lindsay Lohan, Jaden Smith or Miley Cyrus; They sit around and talk, for two hours, no distracting actions or sex scenes to distract from their lack of ability, no long periods of vacant staring... they all have to act and convey a wide array of emotions with only words and their abilities to properly emote.Think about that.
|"Do not Distahb me while I am in my Nougat bahth."|