DVD Review: Macabre (1980)

*This review is a re-do of one we did back in 2008. It needed an update.

THE IRONY HERE IS THAT HE'S BLIND.

Love. This movie is about love; the love that a 10-year-old girl has for her 4-year-old brother (ages approximate), and the bathtub that she drowns him in while her mother is out whoring. Is anything sweeter?

LOOKS LIKE LITTLE GIUSEPPE MISSED THE BOAT! ZING!

It's also about the love of a woman (the one out whoring) and a man, even after a traffic accident kills him and severs his head from his body. That doesn't stop the love, nor the lovemaking... no way. True passion can not be denied. 

FRED THE HEAD, CHILLIN'.

It's also about the love of a blind man, and his ancient mother who still loves to bathe him... slowly, with a hard bar of soap. Sadly she dies, because she's 103-years-old, so no more creepy baths for Blindy, but he quickly falls in love with the whore who still loves a dead guy's head, and he accepts her in all of her bat-shit crazy splendor. Love eventually drives the crazy whore to kill her other kid, mentally abuse the blind guy, and repeatedly make love to a severed head. Really.

MY QUESTION IS: WHAT'S UNDER THE REST OF THE  BLANKET?

The best thing about Macabre, is that it's a disturbing flick that will make you feel like you need a shower after watching it. It's not a great movie, nor is it the best example of quality 80's Italian Horror, but it has its good points; the bathtub scene, the creepy daughter, and the ending. It's also the directing debut of Lamberto Bava (Mario's son), which is more notable than the actual movie is.

If you want to watch something truly morbid that's full of all kinds of WTF moments, then this is the flick for you. Be aware that this one has one of those crazy, nonsensical, "WTF just happened?!?" types of endings that are so common in Italian Horror flicks of yesteryear, and yes, that is a good thing. Mostly.

FRED'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LOST HIS HEAD...

There were times during this one where I would have taken a "Screaming Seagull" from someone if they would have stopped the movie. Maybe even an "Alabama Hot Pocket."

It was really painful to endure at times.

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

Seriously mom, he's like 30-years-old, he can bathe himself, so drop the soap! Now!

Also, what's with the horrible southern-accent dub? And why are you making out with a decomposing head?!? And why would a little girl kill her brother like that? And what's in that soup? WTF is with this movie?!?

HE'S BLIND, NOT CRIPPLED!

The, um... "sex" scene towards the end is fairly gross... as is whats in the freezer. Other than that, Macabre is really light on the blood, but very heavy on disturbing scenes.

SHE KINDA HAD THAT COMING.

This movie offers up a little bit of cheesecake, but it was more creepy than it was hot.

STANKO AND STANKY.

"So you're against me too! You told her my secret! Ah ha ha ha ha!" lol

Kids are evil. Also, severed heads breathe, fly, and bite. Yep.

Q: WHICH ONE IS CREEPIER, MOTHER OR DAUGHTER? A: BOTH.

Macabre is morbid and disturbing, and it's effective enough, but it's also at times a rough ride to endure. A Blade in the Dark and Demons are far better Lamberto Bava films, but for a first effort, Macabre is decent enough.

C-

Macabre is available now on DVD and VOD.

If you're feeling particularly brave/adventurous...