July 14, 2011

Let's Play a game, shall we? It's called "Which one is worse?"

This is going to be fun. Were going to play a game of "Which One is Worse." By worse, we mean which one makes you rage the most, as an astute Horror fan. Ready? Okay, let's start!

#1- It's been confirmed that not only will a Campbell-less Evil Dead remake be hitting theaters sometime in 2012, but it's being scripted by... Diablo Cody Devil Coby. There's so many things wrong with that previous sentence that I hardly know where to start How about nobody can play Ash, unless his name is Bruce Campbell? That's the big one I think. Of course the mere fact that the movie is being remade is painful enough in its own right. And without Raimi directing? Blasphemy, every last word of it.
I imagine it might look a lot like this...

The piece de resistance though, is that Devil Coby is re-writing the script? Go fuck yourself, Hollywood. Juno was an overrated and contrived mess and Jennifer's Body was absolutely painful. There's also a reason her show was cancelled by Showtime too... it sucked, and people didn't care to watch it. The thought of Evil Dead in Coby's hands, rife with pretentious, pseudo-hip modern day valley girl dialogue is THE LAST thing we need. Maybe Ash can go get a manni- pedi and buff his situation... I'm sure in Coby's Horror world, he will.
  #2- This one may be less infuriating, but I don't know. Not only is it another in a long line of shitty (and I mean shitty) sequels to one of the best werewolf movies of all time, The Howling, but it's being "reborn" to fit the mold of Twilight. Woo! Here's the trailer for The Howling Reborn.


Once again Hollywood panders to the lowest common denominator of fandom, and shits on one of its benchmarks. Kids deserve to have their sweet, fluffy little spooky movies too, but don't call it The Howling. Maybe call it Furry Angst, or OMG, I Love You but You're Like, a Werewolf! I'm sure at some point during the movie, there will be a shirtless scene involving teen boys. Aren't you lucky, girls? You too, gay guys. At least someone might get something out of this. So, which one makes you seethe the most? Our answer? Yes.

5 comments :

  1. No Bruce Campbell?!?!? WTF?!?

    I want off this planet. :)

    GREAT post.

    Cheers!

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  2. Out of all the genre talent out there they choose Cody? It must honestly be a sick joke. I'm sure writers would take that job for free.

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  3. the worse thing is the remake of the Evil Dead,if there is a petion online let us know for sign it!

    -Mefis-

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  4. I understand Bruce is producing, but if he doesn't end up starring... what's the point?

    Anon, I wish Cody was a joke...ugh.

    And Mefis, I will sign with you! I don't think it will do any good though.

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  5. I freakin love Evil Dead, with 2 being my fave out of the series. I want to see more Evil Dead, but without Bruce Campbell, and without Raimi Directing... it's not Evil Dead, it's just kids getting possessed in the woods.

    Also... Cody writing the screenplay? How the heck did that happen? What piece of her writing made the producers go "o snap! she should so do Evil Dead!"

    I'll sign that petition too.

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