July 16, 2011

Quick Review: Bloodlust Zombies (2011)

The only thing worse than sitting through this movie is sitting through this movie and then having to talk about it.

As a Horror movie, it's a wreck. As a movie of any kind, it's a wreck. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that it was supposed to be funny as well, but if it was, they missed the mark in that aspect too.

The only reason we gave it a chance was because it stars Pornstar supreme, Alexis Texas; seeing her on the cover, all bloody with an axe, made us think that this could just manage to be a pretty good time with some bonus T&A thrown in for good measure...
I know, Alexis. that makes us sound horrible.
Well, there was some T&A to be had here, but even it couldn't save this shoddy mess of a flick... and in all honesty, what nudity there was wasn't all that great.

Stick to porn hun, or at least get yourself in some better mainstream flicks.
Truth be told, this movie felt like the average Porno flick, sans sex. The story, acting, script, and execution of it all was just porn-like, and that's saying something. In Porn flicks, the cheesy stuff is there to give the sex scenes a "story." Here, it is the story, and it standing alone it just hurts. The acting is horrendous. The plot, while vaguely interesting, is executed poorly. The funny bits were not funny.

We still love you though!
We're always down for a cheesy, low budget slasher flick, or a nonsensical-yet-fun Zombie flick, but this one was just slow, tedious, and when it did finally get to the "good" parts, it fell flat on its face. You want to make it cheap and easy, fine. If you do though, at least make it as good as you possibly can.

Alexis Texas is a Hottie, of that there can be no doubt.

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