September 13, 2010

DVD Review: Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009)

"Based loosely on a real legend, Blood Night does a decent job at being a slasher flick, but could have been way better..."
Cast Members of Note- Nate Dushku, Samantha Facchi, Danielle Harris, and Bill Moseley.

Taking a look back to 1978 using the wayback machine, we see a young girl named Mary go bonkers and kill her family with a hatchet, earning her not only the nickname of Mary Hatchet, but a new home in the local sanitarium as well. 10 years later, she escapes from the nuthouse and returns home only to kill a bunch more people and get herself killed in a hail of bullets. that poor girl never had a chance, did she?

Boom, headshot!
The night is dubbed Blood Night, and celebrated by the town every year thereafter. It is said that on Blood Night, Mary Hatchet's ghost roams the streets looking for new victims to add to her tally sheet, especially whores and jerks. The coolest part of the whole deal is that her ghost walks around naked. Dontcha just love cool holidays?

As long as I have a gun or two on me, I'd have no problem celebrating "Naked Nut-job Day."
Flashing forward a bunch of years later, we find a group of dumb kids having their annual Blood Night party, and figure it's a good idea to get drunk and head out to the local cemetery with a Ouija Board to taunt the ghost of poor old Mary Pickaxe. Of course the taunting works and she returns to give them a healthy dose of shut the fuck up... which isn't really a bad thing considering that most of them a d-bags anyhow.

Please die. Thank you.
Can anyone survive Mary Hatchet's ghostly fury? Was Mary raped in the Sanitarium, and does that play a part in her bloody legend? Does Bill Moseley really need the money this bad? I don't know about any of that, but at least we get to see Samantha Facchi naked. Best part of the movie.

Such a pretty murderess.
The good about Blood Night? Boobs and Blood. It's a slasher flick, albeit with a supernatural bent, but it does deliver what a good slasher flick should, and that's nudity and gore. It's a bit cliche' and gets muddled in the middle act, but overall it delivers what a slasher flick is supposed to, even if it could have used a tighter script and a faster pace. It's interesting to note that the movie was based in part on a real Long Island, New York legend. the whole small town dynamic was interesting too, seeing how they treated such horrific events and how so many people made it into a fun thing rather than a remembrance of a grisly night of horror. We loved the visuals in this flick, as some of the kills were pretty neat and Mary creeping around was kind of... creepy. It's not a scare fest by any means, but Mary made a pretty menacing ghost and her time on screen worked well. Too bad there wasn't a bit more of it.

A retro-looking "Ouchie."
Hey, Danielle Harris, get naked, already. That's right, I said it. Sure you got mostly naked in Rob Zombie's Halloween, but you were all covered in blood too, so to those of us who aren't psychopaths, it wasn't truly hot to see. May I suggest that you take a look at my script for Oral Sex Killer Whore: Mouth of Death. In it you would play a whore who goes around killing both men and women with your tongue via oral sex, to compensate for your painful childhood and hatred of groins. It could be a career-maker in the right hands, and I believe that those hands are yours. Make hay while the sun shines Danielle. Call me.

There are so many things I'd like to axe her...
With a fun beginning, and a fun ending (once people start getting bumped off), what happens in the middle is a bunch of... well, nothing. It's almost as if the movie takes a break to have the teen characters party for a while, talk, and accomplish nothing plot-wise, then suddenly it remembers that it's a Horror flick and gets back on track. Hell, at least throw us some gratuitous sex scenes to keep us focused, or some blatant plot device-ish murders or something, but don't just lose focus and meander so aimlessly on us.

Stop smiling and die!
Blood and gore are definitely the main draw of Blood Night. As with most slashers, there's a bunch o' blood in this movie, and some good kills as well.

That is not Strawberry Quik.
The gorgeous Samantha Facchi bares all as the title character, picking up the slack for the prudish Danielle Harris. Seeing her naked alone is worth checking this movie out.

More like Mary Sexy, am I right?
Stay out of graveyards, especially on cursed nights. Also, not all hot, naked chicks are a good thing. Some of them like to kill.

Like her.
Blood Night is what it is; a slasher flick, and nothing more. If you like the whole slasher formula, there's something in this movie that you'll probably enjoy, though it isn't a great flick overall. Watch it for the nudity and kills, but ignore the meandering pace and plot and you should be just fine. I'd rent it before buying it.


Blood Night is available now on DVD and VOD.

I don't know, Mary Hatchet doesn't look so scary to me. Also, Danielle Harris.


1 comment :

  1. Yep, Samantha Facchi's sweet apples can not be stressed enough.

    She should be a star!