February 28, 2010

Review: The Crazies (2010)

"Is it a crime for me to say I liked this remake more than I did the original?"

In Attendance- Me, Machine, and Ms. Machine.
Cast Members of Note- Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Danielle Panabaker, and Joe Anderson.

The small town of Asscrack, Iowa is turned on its ear and ravaged by a nasty little virus that turns its residents into pissed-off, zombie-like killing machines, and it's up to Sheriff Bad-Ass to save the day. He's up to it too, don't let his kind smile fool you; he will make a hand-knife and rock your world!

Oh, someone's ass is sooo getting kicked!
It's not long before the Government shows up in creepy containment suits, separating the healthy from the sick, and herding them on buses which are going to take them all to "safety." Luckily for his wife, Sheriff Bad-Ass realizes that "safety" means "we're going to kill you," and he stages a one-man-war against The Man, determined to get his wife to real safety!

"We're here to help."
Things go from bad to worse as the Sheriff and his posse of survivors try to find a tractor or something to get them out of dodge, to no avail. Who will live? Who will die? Will the Government prove to be evil and self-serving by covering their blunder up, or do the right thing and own up to their mistake and help. Ha. We all know the answer to that last one.

Let's see,who is going to live, and who is going to die...
This was one pretty entertaining remake. I thought it was darker and a bit more sinister than the 70's original, and that's a good thing. Bloody, nasty and pretty intense, The Crazies made the most of the "infected" sub-genre, and managed to make me squirm a few times. It reminded me an awful lot of 1988's The Blob, in tone and feel; small town, evil Government, a raging contagion... although the absence of Brian Flagg was more than glaring.

Timothy Olyphant is one hell of an actor. He has this likable quality about him with an underlying aura of bad-assery that is a perfect mix. Radha Mitchell is a hot little Aussie actress that is quickly becoming one of our favorite genre stars. She can also act her ass off too, and very naturally, which makes her doubly dangerous on screen.

You will always be my hero, Brian Flagg!
Stay here? A virus has driven the entire town stark-raving mad, the Government is running around killing anyone they find alive who isn't in a containment suit, the local Hillbilly Militia is doing the same thing, and you want me to stay out here in the dark while you run off to "check things out?" Go to hell. You know you're going to come back and I'll be gone. Do you want me dead? UGH!

This is what "stay here" gets you!
Again, why an otherwise good Horror movie has to use the dreaded jump scare music cue to elicit scares, is beyond me. This movie had enough tension and creepiness about it that I didn't need to be told every 5 minutes that something was scary, and especially by a suddenly loud and sharp musical cue. Maybe I bitch about it too much, but it's a cheap tactic that IS NOT necessary. Especially in a movie like this.

There's a fair amount of blood and violence in this one, and some of it was fairly surprising and fun. By fun I mean messy and nasty, which is what we consider fun. All I have to say is the part with the scissors in the hand may be my favorite scene so far this year. Ouch. And the guy with the pitchfork was really creepy, and really liked to use it. A lot.

Yeah, so he's obviously not here to help.
Nope. Not that kind of Horror flick. However, Radha Mitchell can be seen naked in a bunch of her other movies. She also seems partial to doing lesbian sex scenes on camera. That, coupled with her past genre roles, accent and hotness, makes her a legitimate Horror Hottie on the rise. Danielle Panabaker is no slouch either.

Don't drink the water. Also, whenever someone tells you "stay here," tell them to go to hell and follow them wherever they go. Splitting up is just silly.

This is what splitting up gets you. Dead.
The Crazies was a good remake that despite the issues I had with it, left me satisfied and even curious to see it again. Timothy Olyphant is way underrated as an actor, as is the hot, hot, hot Radha Mitchell, and I think they were perfectly cast in this. You won't be remiss spending your dough to see this one, unless you really don't like the whole "infected" sub-genre. Check it out either way.



Two Hotties in this one makes for very happy Horror fans!



  1. Looking forward to hearing you thoughts. I saw it yesterday! Thought it was a lot of fun.

  2. I can't wait to see this, but I wanted to see the original first (I know...bad horror fan for not having seen it already...) Good to hear you liked it though - as satisfying a remake as Dawn of the Dead was, would you say?

  3. Yes the younger actress was in the Friday the 13th remake, and excellent and fun to watch, and made The Crazies better, too. As far as I'm concerned she could make any piece of crap out their a lot easier to get through. Put her in more movies!

  4. I would not say as satisfying as the Dawn remake, but satisfying in its own right. Does that help any? :)

    And yeah mob, she's very watchable. I was bummed when she got hers in F13.

  5. Man I wanna watch this so bad... Seems to have every thing I expected from the remake, or any good 'zombie' movie.

    Blood, gore, zombies knocking people off in interesting ways... and interesting ways of killing said zombies.

  6. Just watched and i thought to myself this is better than the original too. Timothy Olyphant is a great actor and as well as being a badass sheriff in this he was a badderass sheriff in Deadwood (which i also love).

    Yep, this was a very good movie.

  7. Rhino,if you liek Timothy Olyphant, get a hold of the show Justified. It just ended it's first season here in the U.S., and it was amazing.

    I daresay he was more bad ass in this than even deadwood. :)

  8. How much more possibly badass can he get?

  9. Ok, maybe not more, but he basically plays the same character. It's a "wild west" show for sure.

    It's ridiculous how bad ass he is in Justified.

    1. Even though only serious Die Hard fans (like me, lol) liked the 4th installment, I have to say the Olyphant was so badass and funny in it. His smarkyness combined with 'McClains' smartassness was so much fun, that I must have seen that movie a dozen times when it came out, lol

    2. Even though only serious Die Hard fans (like me, lol) liked the 4th installment, I have to say the Olyphant was so badass and funny in it. His smarkyness combined with 'McClains' smartassness was so much fun, that I must have seen that movie a dozen times when it came out, lol

    3. Olyphant is bad-ass in everything! And occasionally funny.