DVD Review: Gnaw (2009)

Not bad at all, and I was expecting this to be total crap...

Cast Members of Note- Sara Dylan, Julia Vandoorne, Oliver Lee Squires, Nigel Croft-Adams, and Rachel Mitchem.

Gnaw opens with a scantily-clad woman running through the woods (apparently for her life), from an unseen menace somewhere behind her. I'm pretty sure that 1 out of every 10 Horror movies of late opens this exact same way. The menace is revealed to be some sort of evil, flesh-craving, backwoods hillbilly, who kills anyone that dare step foot on their land.... Yep, that's familiar too. Let's just call the whole thing "the same as 5 out of every 10 Horror movies" so far...

It's cute how she's trying to get away. Lulz.

It seems as if a whole mess of people have been disappearing in and around the greater Suffolk Region, and after watching the opening scene we can deduce exactly why; because only stupid people go camping/hiking/exploring the gorgeous countryside in Horror movies. So naturally, a bunch of young and wild friends head into the countryside to party and... oh shit, they hit a cat! Nasty! Not only that, but they show it, and you can hear its little "death mew."

Now, I'm a dog person myself, but that's just wrong. Poor little guy...

Anyways, the party kids arrive at some creepy manor, run by some creepy old woman who makes them delicious food made from something that makes them say "I don't know what this is, but it's delicious!" Yeah, sure... yummy. One by one they disappear and become "delicious" themselves.

Sweetbreads?

I won't spoil what happens next for you here other than to say that from now on, people should just camp in their living rooms; unplug the phone, buy a nature sounds CD or DVD, pitch a tent, and live through the weekend.

Laugh at me if you will, but if they'd have camped in their living room, they'd be alive now, wouldn't they?

Sometimes creepy, often times nasty, Gnaw is a pretty cringe-inducing slice of Torture Porn goodness. It's definitely got more than a few shades of Texas Chainsaw in it, and it doesn't differ much at all from the multitude of other "Oh shit, were out in the woods and helpless" Horror flicks that have come out in force in recent years, but it at least does it job, and it does so bloody well... That was a pun, because the movie is so bloody. Heh.

I like the look of the film, from the color schemes to the raw feel of the FX. The acting is passable, as is the directing I suppose. I guess the best way to sum it all up is that it's pretty well put together, and despite its flaws (lack of originality for example), this is just the kind of Horror flick I like now and then... as long as it's well after dinner time. I have a delicate tummy.

They were definitely a good part of this movie, especially the one on the left.

The creepy thing about all of this to me is that things like this have to go on in the world, and far more often than we imagine. Sure it's mostly just a thing of the movies, but people go missing all the time, everywhere, and it's reasonable to accept that at least a few of them become some sick fuck's dinner. That's really unsettling if you think about it in real world terms.

This looks like a picture from a "Don't Go Camping!" PSA, doesn't it?

The cat. Not only do we get to see a cat hit by a car, hear it making sick death noises, but then the hot chick in the movie smiles and says "look!" as if it amuses her, and picks it up? What is wrong with people?  

"Mittens!"

This movie is nasty from start to finish, some of it being truly eff'd up; legs in traps, people ground slowly into meat, chainsaw violence, knife violence, tons of oozing blood... gore-hounds will love this.

Nice.

 

We do get to see some boobs, but it's not in an enjoyable context. The bath scene was nice though. 

"I don't know what this is, but it's delicious!" Yeah.

Cannibals are everywhere in the world, and they always live in the deep woods. Also, blood dripping down the wall means "Run." Also, British Heavy Metal rules; this has nothing to do with the movie whatsoever, I'm just really fond of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest.

She looks like a rocker chick.

I really liked this movie. Sure it's a rehash of the same old formula we've seen done many times before, but I really dug the nastiness of the whole thing. If you like the whole "wilderness survival" type of Horror flick packed with plenty of blood and gore, then this movie is definitely for you.

B-

Gnaw is available now on DVD and VOD.

Julia Vandoorne is in this.