June 14, 2009

Quick Review: The Cell 2 (2009)

"The Cusp is a serial killer who kills his victims and then brings them back to life; over and over again; until they beg to die! Maya is a psychic investigator who gained her powers after a 1 year coma after she was the Cusp's first victim! Now the Cusp Killer is back and Maya has to go into the mind of a killer unprotected, and save his latest victim."

Take a poor man's Eva Longoria (yes, I know she's bad enough as it is), give her some really bad dialogue, ask her to overact and yet under perform (figure that one out), totally waste Frank Whaley's time, and you have The Cell 2. The premise is kinda cool, it's just that the execution sucks so bad that who cares about the premise.

So spooky...
  • The killer's name is "The Cusp?" What? 
  • I was praying that at least David Hasselhoff would pop up in this movie to cause some mischief or something, but even he's better than this. 
  • Wow, Tessie Santiago really can't act. At all. AT ALL. 
  • Let me get this straight... a blind guy who just took a hunting knife through the palm of his hand can land a spinning helicopter perfectly in the middle of a ball field? 
  • The level of unbelievability in this film is silly, and oddly enough, it has nothing to do with the psychic aspect of the plot.

Don't give us that look, you knew what this was.
There's really no reason for this movie to exist other than to milk the goodwill that The Cell established back in 2000, by actually being an effective Thriller. This movie is a shoddy mess, and if you feel like you need to see it, wait for it to hit cable.

Tessie Santiago can explore our minds anytime.

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