June 29, 2017

VOD Review: Don't Fuck in the Woods (2017)

"One of the best movie titles of all time."

This isn't really a review, per se, but there was no way that we could let a movie with a title like Don't Fuck in the Woods pass us by without at least saying a few words about it.

I mean, if that title doesn't make you laugh, or at least give a sensible chuckle, then you might be dead inside. *Or you might just have class, which is something that we know nothing of.

Don't Fuck in the Woods is a backwoods monster movie of the Indie persuasion. Shot on an estimated budget of $10k, it doesn't offer much in the way of production value, but it's easy to see that it's a labor of love for filmmaker Shawn Burkett, and for fans of cheap, B-grade Horror flicks that offer plenty of T&A and cheesy gore gags, it's one that will surely please.

It doesn't have much of a plot aside from "A bunch of kids head into the woods to party..." but that's ok, because the fact that the monster in the woods is attracted to the smell of sex should clue you into the fact that this is a movie that doesn't take itself seriously at all.

It exists to showcase some cheesy, exploitative fun, and in that, it succeeds wildly... depending on your taste, of course.

If bloodshed, nudity, and a rubber-suited monster sound like the makings of a good Horror flick to you, then Don't Fuck in the Woods is one that you should seek out.

We just really love the title. And Nadia White.

You can order a copy of the Blu-ray or DVD, HERE, or rent it on Vimeo On Demand, HERE.

We're pretty sure that most of these girls have fucked in the woods at some point, and we applaud them for it.


  1. Sorry but this was painful for this poor sap to watch. Even the ladies belonged on the menu at Denny's at best (below average trailer park types for us horndogs). Blech.

  2. From a person that lives on a steady diet of cheese I understand that the current nostalgia movement wants to pay homage. The reason the older cheese worked was because it was unintended. This is a forced parody. I wanted to like it,really, but it came off so cubic zirconia. Instead of these guys kneeling at the 70/80's altar, they should take the 10 grand and start a campaign to get Carpenter, Tobe Hooper or the like a budget and backing to make movies before we lose them.I feel much better.