It's a Creep-Off! Bob vs. Mae (The House by the Cemetery)

The House by the Cemetery is a crazy, gory Lucio Fulci flick that features two of the creepiest kids from the 80's Horror Scene: Giovanni Frezza and Silvia Collatina. Neither of their characters are particularly evil in the movie, and neither of them kill anybody or anything, but that doesn't make either of them any less unsettling.

It is really odd though to have more than one creepy kid in a Horror movie, because that doesn't usually happen unless they're killing people together or something.

So which one is creepier? Let's find out!

*Spoilers for The House by the Cemetery follow, but seeing that it's been 30+ years since the movie came out, spoilers be damned!

Mae (Silvia Collatina) is a ginger ghost who spends the entire movie trying to warn a clueless kid about the dangers of the house that he and his family are moving into, as well as trying to save his life whenever she can. Also, her father is the thing in the basement who wants to kill them all.

Sure she's unsettling to look at, and if we ever saw her skulking around a graveyard, staring at us, we'd probably shit ourselves or have a stroke, but all she was really trying to do was help Bob and his family stay alive. Right? It doesn't really help matters that she's followed around throughout the movie by a creepy older woman who calls her name in a slow, unsettling way, telling her "Mae, it's time to go home!" over and over again.

• Is a ginger.
• Is a ghost.
• Is the daughter of Dr. Freudstein.
• Tries to warn Bob to stay away from Oak Manor, because she knows he and his family will die if they come to live there.
• Lures Bob into an eternal after-life of un-death and sadness.

Bob (Giovanni Frezza) is a gormless little whiner that not only ignores all of Mae's warnings, but spends the entire movie off in some sort of delusional playland, oblivious to anything that's going on around him. I know he's a kid and all, and kids are supposed to be clueless about a lot of things, but aren't they also supposed to be naturally scared of things like dark basements, graveyards, ghosts, and bats that are trying to rip their father's hand to shreds?

At one point, when Bob hears his mother screaming bloody murder for him to come and help her, he looks around, talks to his doll, grabs a toy gun, and then slowly saunters his little ass to where she is... making us wonder if maybe he didn't really want to get there in time to help his mom escape the clutches of the evil thing that lives in the basement.

And his voice. Don't even get us started on how hearing his voice made us want to eat a bullet. Or five.

• Plays with dolls.
• Whines in his sleep.
• Has the worst kid voice ever.
• Is gormless.
• Might be retarded. 
• Talks to pictures.

Mae.

Even though Bob is completely terrifying in his own way, Mae edges him out as far as overall creepiness goes. She's dead, she's got a creepier gaze, and even though she did it for his own good, she still lured him into a limbo between life and death, which is almost like killing him herself.

No matter who won this little Creep-Off though, both of these creepy kids are nightmare-worthy, so we all lose. 

Read our review of The House by the Cemetery HERE.

YES, BOB, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE WON.