April 4, 2014

10 Horror Cats that need your attention right meow!

We're pretty sure that 90% of Horror movies are contractually obligated to have a cat in them, mainly for the purpose of the ever-famous "Mrrrrooowww!" Jump-Scare; you know the one, where someone either opens a door/cabinet/box.etc... or is roaming around in a dark house asking "Hello? Is anybody there?" and then a cat pops out and scares the shit out of them.

That's the famous "Mrrrrooowww!" Jump-Scare. Good times.

Sometimes they jump out and scare people, sometimes they stare and hiss, and sometimes they even maul people to death. Sometimes, they even save lives.

No matter what role a cat plays in their Horror movie, we always remember them fondly... unless of course you hate cats, then you probably remember them un-fondly. Either way is fine with us, really.

So let's take a look at 10 cats who made an impact on our Horror watching lives.

Little ATM (American Psycho)
We call this cat "Little ATM" because Patrick Bateman feeds it to an ATM machine, so it just felt appropriate. Poor little thing probably just wanted some cream, or a warm place to sleep, but instead it ran afoul of a Sociopath who jammed it into the bill dispenser of a money machine. Not cool, Patrick. Not cool at all.  

R.I.P. Little ATM, we hardly knew you.

Our Review of American Psycho.

Starey (Bloody Moon)
Jess Franco made a career out of making movies that were full of puss... no, we're not even going there. Too easy. This black cat pretty much just sat and stared all creepy-style in Black Moon, but hey, that's what most cats do on a daily basis anyhow, right? Still, it was unnerving, and deserves a mention here.

Our Review of Bloody Moon.

Church (Pet Sematary)
Maybe the most famous of all Horror movie cats, Church is probably the most evil of them as well. When Winston Churchill -Church if you're nasty- gets run over by a truck, his owner decides to bury him in the old Pet Sematary, to bring him back to life. When zombie Church rises from his kitty grave, he smells of death and attacks people, so he's put back down again, this time for good.

Poor thing had to die twice. No fair.

Curfew (Halloween III: Season of the Witch)
Leave it to a disobedient cat named Curfew to disregard an announcement of martial law! When the small town of Santa Mira announces a curfew, they mean business: "It's six o'clock... it's six o'clock... Curfew. Curfew. All residents of Santa Mira, please clear the streets. Curfew is now in effect. Please confine your activities to your own homes. Thank you. Have a very pleasant evening."

They even call the cat by name in their announcement, and someone still has to go get him! Bad kitty!

Mittens Lachrymarum (Inferno)
The most powerful of Dario Argento's Three Mothers, Mater Lachrymarum, is a hot music student with a soft and fluffy pussy... named Mittens! When the hero of the story, Mark, gets to close to "the truth" of whatever it is he's investigating, both Mater and Mittens Lachrymarum stare him down hard, sending him a clear "back off or we will eat your face!" look with their evil eyes. Then they disappear, and are not heard from again for the rest of the movie. That's Italian Horror for you.

 Our Review of Inferno.

A Gang of Black Cats (Ju-on)
Can you imagine waking up to find your room filled with every black cat in Japan? No, neither can we, but then we aren't Japanese Horror filmmakers, are we? We don't know how many years of bad luck that would amount to, but we're pretty sure we'd stay under the covers until the cats went to use the litter box or something. This is the exact reason that we keep catnip in our nightstand... because you never know!

CGI Doppleganger Cats (Let the Right One In)
Yeah, these cats all have the same face, but that's only because they're CGI cats, and in Sweden, no one cares if cats have different faces. When a chick is bitten by a Vampire, 30 of these CGI cats viciously attack her, nipping and scratching at her, and eventually driving her to commit suicide with the sun. It was the only silly scene in an otherwise perfect movie. It was definitely a WTF!? moment.

 Our Review of Let the Right One In.

Salem (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)
 Fine, Sabrina was a cheesy TV Show, and it was hardly "Horror" at all, but it was about Witches, and it had a black cat named Salem who was sassy and sarcastic, so how can you not love that? Also, Salem was not a real cat, but some sort of animatronic puppet or something, so it was kinda creepy. Either way, he made us laugh, so he gets included here. *We'll be surrendering our man cards posthaste.

Dinner (The Child)
This poor little kitten gets fed to a zombie by a sadistic little girl, which seems really pointless to us because don't zombies eat people? This is why cats hate children, because children feed them to zombies! Bad movie, but a memorable cat appearance.

Jezebel (The Sentinel)
Of course you throw a birthday party for a cat and invite all your neighbors to attend... if you're Satanists! If you've never seen the 1977 classic The Sentinel, then it's worth you seeking it out for the Cat birthday party scene alone. I mean, they give it a party hat and a bib, and make it a cake (which I'm guessing has parakeet frosting of some sort)...

"Black & white cat, black & white cake!" This movie is truly crazy.

So there you have it; 10 cats that made the Horror movies they starred in all the more memorable. Shame that most of them are probably dead now, but hey, we'll always have their memorable performances to hang on to. Right?

7 comments :

  1. First off not happy that there was no mention of my psycho cat that was the reincarnation of Church, and secondly where was the reference for Cats Eye? Show me some love.

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  2. First of all, your cat was an asshole. Secondly, Cat's Eye can come next time. EVERYONE posts Cat's Eye. I almost didn't post Church becuase he's so common too.

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  3. Whoa, no Clovis from Sleepwalkers?! He was the best cat ever! On the other end of the cat spectrum, what about the black cat from Tales from the Darkside?

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  4. We did not forget Clovis!

    I personally jsut wanted to go more obscure this time, and since we used Church, I'm saving Clovis for the next Horror Cats list. Same with Jonesy from ALien, the cat from Cat's Eye, et al.

    They have not been forgotten :)

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  5. Somebody needs to see Satan's Little Helper.

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  6. Ha ha cool you put the cat from The Sentinel!

    You should also include in a future post the cat from Tales from the Darkside: The Movie! That scene is so amusing because the cat makes its way into the inside of this old mans body, then after having fed on all his innards, comes out of the old dudes mouth!

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  7. The Sentinel was a great movie!

    And we will, Francisco. We'll do another Horror Cats post in another month or so, and the Black Cat from Tales From the Darkside will be there!

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