True Detective, Episode One- The Long Bright Dark

Those crazy opening credits, that opening song, that closing song, the dark and quiet atmosphere, the mystery, a tortured and brooding McConaughey vs. a sneaky yet seemingly normal Harrelson, the writing, the direction, the cinematography, the pending unveiling of those Daddario  Tittahs...

True Detective already feels like an all-time classic after one episode.

Then again, these two dudes are already all-time classics, so...

Sure, the show could completely fall on its ass from episode two on forward, but is that really likely to happen? HBO doesn't mess the bed very often when it comes to drama; Oz, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, The Wire, Carnivale, Deadwood, Rome, Big Love, In Treatment, Treme, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, The Newsroom... Like, love, or hate their efforts, HBO has one hell of a dramatic pedigree*.

*John From Cincinnati was an aberration, and is best left forgotten. Same goes for True Blood.

"Why would you even mention John From Cincinnati, man? Not cool."

With True Detective, they may have pulled off their biggest masterstroke yet; at only 8 episodes long, the show was not only able to attract some big name film talent, but its storyline promises to be a tight, no-filler, one-off season that will neither be stretched out, nor be cancelled suddenly. It's already in the can, and there's nothing left to do but air it.

1 Writer, 1 Director, 8 episodes, and it's all self-contained ala American Horror Story. If there's a second season, it will be an entirely new cast telling an entirely new story. The possibilities that exist with this show and its "anthology" approach are staggering.

Oh deer, this murder certainly seems to buck all convention. Heh.

True Detective a Gothic, almost noirish, Cop Procedural/Thriller which tells the story of two southern detectives who catch a murder case in 1995, are asked to recall it all in full detail 17 years later, and presumably, everything that happens in between. The story jumps between 1995 and present day, and unravels its details in a slow, hazy, and almost dreamlike manner.

Why is the case being re-opened after nearly two decades? Did it get botched? Was there more to it that the detectives either knew or let on about? Was one of them involved in the murders? What happened to turn the already frazzled Rust into an even more of a frazzled mess? As far as that goes, what happened to make Hart go from not being able to stand Rust in 1995, to almost blindly defending him in the present day? Is there something even bigger at play here?

Visually and aesthetically, it's almost hypnotizing the way that the first episode was handled, and ultimately played out.

What happened, Rust? What happened!

Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson gave Emmy-Worthy performances in the first episode alone, and it's killing us not to have the entire series in our hands right now, if only to see where they go with their characters from here.

As far as the behind the camera talent goes, Nic Pizzolato is going to earn and Emmy or Golden Globe for his writing on this series. Mark our words. This show boasts some of the best writing we've seen in a long while on a TV Show. Cary Fukunaga has one hell of an eye and flair for this type of story, and if this is the guy who is going to be directing the big screen adaptation of Stephen King's It, then we're all for it.

Everything here is just solid all the way around.

Worst part of the episode? Alex Daddario only had about 30 seconds of (uneventful) screen time. Jerks.

This Pilot Episode was about as perfect as any TV Show could hope to open with, and whether the rest of the series matches its brilliance or not, it will always stand alone as such. We're dying to find out where the story goes, and more importantly, what happened to Rust and Hart after catching the Serial Killer case that seems to have broken at least one of them.

If you missed the first episode, then go and watch it now, because come Sunday night at 9 p.m., what may well end up being the best show of 2014 is going to be unveiling chapter 2 in its already epic tale.

We're pretty sure you're not going to want to miss out on what comes next.

A+

Daddario Breast Watch 2014 returned no results in episode one of True Detective. We're pretty sure that will change in episode two, since we can assume that Woody Harrelson's character is banging hers, and we will at long last get the satisfaction that we deserve.

We're talking naked boob satisfaction here, folks, because they're coming. Oh, they're coming.