VOD Review: Urge (2016)

"This movie gave us the urge to watch something else."

Thinking about Urge, I've come to the conclusion that it's a play on the Garden of Eden.

"Hey, here's this luscious, ripe fruit that with fill you with pleasure and satisfy your hunger if you eat it, but don't eat it."

The premise is interesting; I'm not sure whether it was "Temptation kills" or "All human beings are weak, selfish animals with no self control," but it was interesting. It worked way better in the Bible though, because Adam and Eve weren't complete assholes who you wanted to see suffer.

Like the characters in Urge.

Hyde from That 70's Show is a millionaire now, and he's turned into an entitled dude-bro asshole. He flies a bunch of old friends out to the exclusive island where his wicked mansion is, because he wants to have a party weekend. It's going to be epic, sick, and epic (lots of dude-bro speak in this one.) Neither he nor his douche crew are very likable (save perhaps for the hot secretary, and the free-willed artist, Jason), but they all seem to like each other, so I guess it sounds like a fun time.

"EPIC PARTY, BROSEPH!"

They head to a club on the island called Volcano, which is run by Pierce Brosnan and his menagerie of creepy pals. Since they're looking to get high, Pierce gives them a new designer drug that's all the rage, called Urge. Urge makes you euphoric and sheds your inhibitions, but you can only do it once. Like, that's the official rule. The friends take the Urge and have the best night of their lives... all except for poor Jason, who seems immune to its effects.

THIS GUY LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

The next day, all of the friends are bummed out that they can't have more Urge. Ignoring the "you can only do it once" rule (because, YOLO), they get some more and party up, only this time, things get violent and creepy. Before long, the whole island is beating, raping, and killing each other, because everybody else obviously ignored the rule too. Jason, the only one who isn't under the influence of Urge, tries his best to survive the madness.

IS THAT BEARD IRONIC OR NOT? I CAN'T TELL.

Ah, Urge.

Visually impressive, packed with sexy girls in various stages of undress, and working on a fairly interesting premise, this movie offers little in the way of character, suspense, or exciting incident. You know that once these kids begin to take Urge, that it's going to make them do some pretty crazy (and potentially nasty) things, but the movie never really goes there. Now, there are some death scenes, one of which was particularly disturbing, but one girl seductively eats a cake, and another ties a guy up and punches  him... which makes me wonder if those were the most wicked urges that they possessed.

I suppose the movie's vapid, douchey, unlikeable characters didn't help things very much. Even the one guy that we liked, Justin Chatwin's Jason, was a pretentious tool. We kinda liked Ashley Greene's character too, as she seemed like she'd be the "Final Girl" type to rise above her the actions of her idiot friends and their utter awfulness, but she ended up being no better than the rest of them.

The characters in the movie were already at the lowest rung of the human scale, so when they took the Urge and started doing disturbing things, it really wasn't much of a shock. It probably would have worked better had it been a gang of likable, decent kids who took the drug at some party, and then it started to change them. As it plays out here, it just feels like a natural progression for the dude-bro crew, so it wasn't very gripping at all.

THAT'S THE STUFF.

It's not easy dissecting this movie without spoiling it's big "reveal" at the end, so I'm about to spoil it all.

***SPOILER ALERT***
So it turns out that Pierce Brosnan isn't Satan at all, but God himself. Or maybe he is Satan, and he's lying. Either way, Satan/God is using Urge to cleanse the wicked people from the world, because humanity sucks, and we're going to destroy the world soon enough anyway. God wants Jason to be one of his smiting Angels -or Demons- because he's "worthy," which is why I'm guessing the drug had no effect on him.

Isn't there an easier way to destroy humanity other than giving rich douche-bags a designer drug? Not that watching them beat each other to death wasn't neat and all, but really?

And the ending made little sense. After a monologue from Brosnan's character, he just disappears, and Jason is left sitting on a boat with the chick who survived, and then that's it.

Even the after-credits scene was stupid and clumsy, not to mention a bizarre, 2-minute waste of Alison Lohman.
***END SPOILER ALERT****

WE LIKED THAT OUTFIT THOUGH.

Urge has a few moments of violence throughout, but it's hardly a gorefest.

YEAH, WE GIVE UP TOO.

Plenty of sexually-charged material in this one, but everyone remains clothed, which is how sex works in real, everyday life.

WE LIKE HER OUTFIT TOO.

Urge is a slick movie filled with attractive people, but like it's characters, it's fairly empty and vapid, and doesn't offer much in the way of substance. This movie makes for a fair Netflix watch, but as a purchase or a rental, it falls way short.

D+

Urge is available now on VOD.

The lovely (and they are lovely) ladies of Urge have their very own Horror Hottie post, right over HERE.